headliner

[happinessplate]

note: (very likely abandoned) wip
chanyeol/lu han | pg | 24k
>>cpop au

some stuff before you proceed. sorry i'm so wordy (what's new, look at the length of these fics)

pls read with the following in mind
>>idk if this would be continued
>>if i do continue it, the chanyeol & lu han dynamic would likely be changed
>>if not, here lies headliner. some fics are 10k, some fics are 24k wips. eh
>>whenever you see the * symbol, pls hover for translation. one is actually the original dialogue written in chinese, and some are my own notes. apologies in advance

♫♫♫

“There’s a newcomer in the company,” Zitao says conversationally to Chanyeol in the middle of Sehun’s recording session. They are in the control room of the recording studio, sitting side by side in front of the huge mixing console. The only source of lighting is the spotlight above their head, remaining lights in the studio are out, and the atmosphere is dark and relaxed, exactly how Sehun likes it when he records. Although Chanyeol has no idea how that improves the quality of his recording, like, have you ever encountered something that is so bad there is just no way it could be improved? Chanyeol did, and is still encountering it on a regular basis.

Separated by a glass window is the vocal booth, and Sehun is in it. Zitao has finished his part and he’s only staying because Sehun asks him to, so they can go for dinner after recording. He’s careful to keep his eyes trained on Sehun, lest the latter notices the lack of his attention. The sound of Sehun’s singing voice floods the entire studio, which isn’t exactly the world’s best background music. But Sehun is young with a really nice face and body that his fans love, plus he’s annoyingly adorable and a nifty dancer. Besides, he helps keep people like Chanyeol in employment. He might be a lot of things, but Chanyeol isn’t an ingrate.

“Is it?” Chanyeol mutters distractedly, his focus on the vast expanse of dials and knobs in front of him instead. He nudges Channel 23’s slider by what Zitao thinks is a millimeter and barely touches the gain knob, but Chanyeol nods in great satisfaction like he has finally achieved Nirvana or something. “Who’s his producer?” he asks and mumbles something else under his breath but Zitao only catches something like ‘cat’ and ‘fan’, words that shouldn’t belong in the same sentence at all.

Chanyeol doesn’t need to ask if the newcomer is male or female. Their company only signs on male singers, because their best producer simply runs out of inspiration when it comes to female singers. “No feel,” were his exact words.

“No, he’s not a new artiste, he’s the new assistant,” Zitao discards his pretense of nonchalance easily and says excitedly, poking Chanyeol’s side with his elbow, accidentally hitting him on the forearm with one of the many large rings Zitao adorn his fingers with.

Sehun sees this and skips an entire line of lyric. Frustrated, he scowls and twists his lips, “Stop distracting me, what are you guys talking about?” he speaks into the microphone so he could be heard by the two of them in the control room.

Chanyeol tuts loudly and makes a rude gesture at Sehun before cutting everything and turning to Zitao give him his full attention. “Why are you telling me this, Zitao? Do you know how much effort and concentration it takes to work on Sehun’s voice so that listeners don’t end up vomiting from their ears? He sounds like a cat with its tail sucked into a fan, all right?”

Sehun starts slapping on the glass window but the Zitao and Chanyeol both ignore him.

“The new assistant is really cute,” Zitao gushes, not even bothering to correct/agree with what Chanyeol said about Hunnie’s singing, “but he’s kind of offhand, refusing all the drinking sessions. Sort of playing hard to get,” he pulls his chair closer to Chanyeol, lowering his voice just as Sehun’s knocking gets louder, “some of the guys have started placing bets on who can get him out on a date first.” Lifting an eyebrow, Zitao issues an unspoken challenge to Chanyeol. Then a sly look slithers onto his face. “Or are you still as devoted as ever to your-”

Before Zitao could finish his jab, Chanyeol leans over with a conspiratorial look on his face and Zitao bends over excitedly so Chanyeol could mumble in his ear. “Did you already fail?” Chanyeol whispers seductively in that low voice of his, blowing a gust of hot air into Zitao’s ear.

Zitao’s reaction is explosive, as always. “Fuck!” he curses vehemently and shoves the laughing Chanyeol off, cupping a hand over his ear while a deep red engulfs his face, but Chanyeol can’t be sure if it’s from his words or from the ear-blowing. “I didn’t ask him out! I didn’t!” Zitao denies fiercely, “I don’t even like him!” Then he sticks his lips up and dares Chanyeol to refute him, thereby confirming Chanyeol’s guess that he’s lying. Zitao decorates his sleeves with his feelings and thoughts, sometimes Chanyeol really admires this trait of his. It’s endearing. Tiny child, Chanyoel thinks dotingly, before turning his attention back to the console.

Then his face transforms into an unsmiling mask.

“Tao, get out. You are distracting Sehun,” Chanyeol orders, not even looking at Zitao, he presses a button and speaks into the microphone so Sehun can hear him in the vocal booth as well, “The deadline’s Friday, no one’s getting any sleep tonight. You’ve rested enough, Xiaowei is waiting for you in the dance studio. We’ll be doing the mixing first thing tomorrow morning.”

Zitao meekly stands up and stays only long enough to receive a glare from Sehun. He glares back before whispering a “Bye, Big Producer!” in Chanyeol’s direction and fleeing from the recording studio.

Chanyeol has to resist a smile, he turns his eyes to Sehun, who quickly scampers from where he has his face pressed against the window back to his place in front of the mic stand. His artiste tries to look serious for a second but Sehun soon gives up and pleas earnestly, “I can’t hit this note, Chanyeol, really.”

“Really,” Chanyeol repeats dryly.

Sehun sighs heavily, closing his eyes and nodding regretfully as if to say, ‘really really’. Chanyeol is notoriously outgoing and friendly outside the studio, but only his favorites have the guts to attempt aegyo on him in recording sessions. It’s true, Chanyeol spoils the maknaes.

“I see,” Chanyeol deadpans.

“Glad you see, even JJ Lin would have difficulty,” Sehun persuades Chanyeol. Then he tries a different tack, “Imagine the disaster when we have to perform this song live.”

But Chanyeol has seen artistes beg, whine and cry in the recording studio. Once, he reduced Show Luo to an emotional wreck in the studio when they were recording a ballad. Show Luo was kept in the studio for twelve consecutive hours, singing the same verse over and over again and all Chanyeol said in these twelve hours was ‘Repeat’ whenever Show finished that part. Eventually, he was only allowed out of the studio because he has to catch a flight to Malaysia for a full dress concert rehearsal. The artiste was professional enough not to question Chanyeol’s request that he fly back to Beijing after the concert for re-recording, after all, there’s a reason why Show Luo is Asia’s Dance King; but when asked by his agent, the only thing Chanyeol said was, “I didn’t ask to produce his album. I was invited to assume the position. We all wanted a dancer to sing and cut an album, that’s why I was hired, wasn’t it?” Just like what he’s asking Sehun to do now.

“JJ Lin wouldn’t need me, he is talented enough to produce his own albums, and as for you, no one harbors expectations towards your live performances, Sehun, not even yourself. Every live stage of yours is a disaster, lip syncing was invented with you in mind. You prefer dance over singing, that’s fine, really really. But hit this note before you head over to the dance studio because there’s only so much plastic surgery I can do to your singing voice. You have hit higher notes before and you know the deadline, mixing tomorrow morning,” he looks at his watch, it’s 11:10pm, “you have seven hours. In our line, sleep is for the eliminated, right, Best New Group?” Chanyeol says with a tone that conveys whether or not he thinks Sehun is deserving of that award. “Your antis await your second album with bated breath. Shall we shut them up?”

He stabs a button on the console and music begins to flow through the speakers.

“Repeat.”

♫♫♫

Lu Han is a sang namja. He finds it a pain that he has to constantly remind people of this fact. Or personal opinion, actually. It’s his face’s fault. Alright, and his name’s fault as well. As if it’s not tough enough being named deer of the dawn, he has to look the damn part, too. Truthfully, most people actually say Lu Han looks like a girl but he’s pretending that never happened, because it wasn’t fun getting ushered out from the Gents and into the Ladies by the cleaning lady, even if Lu Han was just six years old back then. Not to mention how he had to prove his gender by letting the cleaner-, nevermind, that’s why he’s pretending. Traumatic past, who doesn’t have one?

When he was young, he used to envy people with three syllable names. If he had a three syllable name too, then maybe he could omit his surname so he wouldn’t get stuck with that nickname every time he introduces himself. Instead, it’s right there every time in his two syllable name. Thanks a lot for this trying life, mom.

Lu Han has tried to downplay his name during introductions. When asked which Chinese character the ‘Lu’ in his name refers to, he always says it’s, “The ‘Lu’ in ‘Lu Ding Ji’.” It’s a rather manly Jin Yong novel after all. But they will always, always, reply with, “Oh, the ‘Lu’ in ‘Xiaolu Bambi’?” Then their eyes would skim over his face and they would give him that fond simpering look; it’s one that Lu Han has become very familiar with and detests deeply because, hmm, he’s not a sweet docile fawn who just lost his mom to a deer hunter?

And what can he say to that? ‘No, I’m not that cute.’? But that’d be seen as if he’s fishing for compliments and people would just reply with, ‘No! You are exactly that cute.’. Gross.

Or, ‘Yeah, everyone says that.’? But that would mean he’s declaring that he’s Bambi-cute to everyone. Granted, it’s a fact, but still. Deplorable.

It’s a lose-lose situation. So, these days, he just gives up and says before anyone could, “Yes, it’s the ‘Lu’ in ‘Xiaolu Bambi’. Yes, you can call me Xiaolu. No, you cannot photoshop my face onto a deer’s body and @ me on Weibo.”

Lu Han’s entire life, burdened by a famous Disney deer.

And because Lu Han just started a new job a month ago, he has to repeat this tedious Xiaolu Bambi cycle all over again. Truthfully, it’s more tedious than irritating now; the past twenty five years has worn Lu Han’s deer antlers down to stumps, and he cannot be bothered to head-butt anyone and fight over his manliness anymore. Time will show everyone who the real sang namja is (it is Lu Han, by the way). He’s only half-heartedly complaining to Baekhyun over breakfast this morning as an over-the-meal conversation.

They are at Lao Shi Tang, Old Canteen, a rowdy hole-in-the-wall eatery that serves the greasiest meat dumplings in a five-mile radius. The place is noisy with chatter this Saturday morning, and the atmosphere is made steamy by the crowd, not that the summery day requires it. Small round tables are placed haphazardly within the establishment and the floor is dirtied, littered with used napkins, but by the door that leads to the back kitchen, a large grand Chinese fan decorates the greying wall; evidence that the owner once cared. Just a typical breakfast joint, Old Canteen is two blocks away from Lu Han and Baekhyun’s rented apartment, and they gather here whenever they bother with breakfast; in other words, rare occasions. But today is going to be a rather unusual day for Lu Han. He woke up hours too early with a racing heart and couldn’t get back to sleep. So he dragged Baekhyun up from bed too and down to breakfast for distraction. Better eat than spend the whole morning fretting.

“Xiaolu Bambi is not such a terrible nickname. I mean, most people look like that, you know,” Baekhyun gestures carelessly to his right without even looking; insulting random strangers might just be his favorite hobby, “at least your name suits your face.” Doesn’t matter who Baekhyun ends up pointing at anyway, it’s hard to find someone better looking than Lu Han just anywhere on the streets. “Imagine if Kang Hodong’s name was Lu Han, that would be a real tragedy. You should be glad, you ungrateful doe-eyed brat,” Baekhyun points rather rudely at Lu Han with his chopsticks. It’s Baekhyun though, so Lu Han just lets it slide.

In his opinion, however, Baekhyun’s comparison is grossly unfair. Kang Hodong has ‘tiger’ in his name. Lu Han would love to be a tiger. Although he secretly suspects it would lead to another kind of mockery; the ‘aww, but you’re a kitten’ kind. “It’s just Xiaolu, take away that Bambi at the end,” Lu Han points out, as he slurps some porridge and bites into his fried dough fritter.

“Fine, fine, you are a beautiful sang namja,” Baekhyun concedes uncommittedly and bites into his dumplings. But Lu Han takes offence at this.

“I am handsome!” Lu Han protests, throwing his doughstick into his porridge. All right, maybe there’s still some fight left in him. It’s a complex he grew up with, but that’s not a good enough reason to get used to his manliness being challenged, is it?

He says this a bit too loud and the unimpressed teenage girl sitting at the next table rolls her eyes and turns around to check out the shameless person who announced his good looks to everyone in the eatery. ‘Hmmp, let jiejie see just how handsome you are’, she thinks condescendingly as she swivels around. When she sees Lu Han’s face though, she thinks, ‘jiejie is wrong, jiejie will repent’, and begins staring at him instead.

Lu Han is sitting by the window, the early morning light resting gently on him & encasing him in a golden glow, as if some divine being up there has decided his loveliness needs even more illumination. His eyes are sparkling but it’s with outrage instead of gentleness, as he douses Baekhyun with insults for using such a feminine term on him. But oh, what do bystanders know? They only see Lu Han’s adorable face, they can’t hear the unspeakable curses he’s current sprouting. He’s Xiaolu Bambi to strangers but just typical bro to his friends. It takes a while because Lu Han is usually polite and reserved to new acquaintances, but after a period of knowing Lu Han, all of his friends couldn’t find it in themselves to call him Xiaolu anymore.

Xiaolu Bambi, their asses.

Over time, Lu Han has managed to destroy every single one of their fantasies about his face. What kind of Bambi wakes up with that amount of stubble and still refuses to shave before he comes in for work? What kind of Bambi spits vicious curses when Manchester United forfeits a goal? What kind of Bambi rushes to do the heaviest physical work and preaches about loyalty to brothers and friends? Bambis are meant to be fragile and showered with love and care; instead Lu Han turns out to be a massive face disappointment with his protective and strong nature. While his friends are no Thumpers either, it’s just difficult for them to align Lu Han’s personality to his angelic appearance, and secretly they lament on what a waste of that lovely face it is. “If only he were a girl,” they frequently sigh, only to overthrow that horrible idea with a shudder when they witness Lu Han with his horrible stubble. There is a special kind of heaven where all of people’s fantasies about Lu Han’s face die and go to after they’ve got to know him.

But all of the above people belong to Category II: The Cured. On the other hand, Baekhyun belongs to Category III: The Immune. This is a special group of guys who could compare dick sizes with Lu Han in the washroom and not feel like they’ve defiled an innocent. They are immune to Lu Han’s angelface and have zero expectations of him; when Lu Han spits curses at the television screen, they join right in with the swearing instead of being mortified by him; when Lu Han falls face down onto the grass in the middle of a soccer game, they cackle and step over (or on) him to chase after the ball instead of rushing to help little Bambi up; if Lu Han shows up with stubble, well, they empathize; sometimes there’s just no time for shaving after a round of morning masturbation in the shower. What? Cute people have sexual needs too, you know.

People place too much emphasis and expectations on Lu Han just because he’s beautiful, so they tend to get disappointed. Then there are those who find his masculinity fascinating; a stark contrast to his gentle and soft appearance. Baekhyun, however, thinks of Lu Han as the average Joe he is, his best bro, someone he has known for what seems like forever. People are of the opinion that Lu Han’s face is amazing, but Baekhyun knows Lu Han’s character is even more precious, even harder to come by than the most adorable of faces. Just take what he plans to do today as a prime example.

Only time and experience can teach one about another person, however, and Lu Han has always been such a delicious piece of eye-candy. It is true that it’s difficult to look past appearances and into a person’s heart; most people, however, tend to forget that this applies to the beautiful as well. How does one look past a beautiful face to fall in love with the person? Hence, Lu Han has always been careful.

And sure, he can be as sang namja as he claims to be, other times though, Lu Han could engage in too much aegyo as well. After his finishes with his tirade, Lu Han whimpers, “Gege, give me a dumpling,” and he snatches one from Baekhyun’s plate before the latter even had the chance to say yes.

“You shameless person, don’t call me gege with all that wrinkles on your face, it makes me feel older than my rightful age,” Baekhyun snips and steals one of Lu Han’s doughsticks as payback.

“All handsome guys have wrinkles, I’m just embarking on my journey to become Tony Leung or George Clooney,” Lu Han explains while he chews on the oily dumpling.

“They have wrinkles because they are old, what’s your reason for premature aging?” Baekhyun asks sincerely.

“Because gege, you didn’t give me money for SK-II,” Lu Han winks at Baekhyun before he bursts out laughing, “Oh God, I’m so humorous,” he slaps his own thigh.

“Yes, look at me, I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe,” Baekhyun deadpans with absolutely no indication of asphyxia. “Close your mouth when you chew, why are you disgusting?” he continues to chastise when Lu Han laughs with his mouth wide open he could see the remains of that dumpling.

“But Baekhyun, if I close my mouth then I can’t talk to you,” Lu Han points out intelligently.

“But Lu Han, that’s the entire point,” Baekhyun says unkindly, his gaze flicking to the side for a second and this is when he notices the girl. He wags a admonishing finger at the teenager who’s aiming her phone at Lu Han in a very discreet manner. But Baekhyun’s smiling as well, so Jiejie just giggles, stops filming Lu Han on Meipai and pockets her phone. Then she puts her hands together and gives Baekhyun a sheepish look as if begging for mercy.

Fortunately, Lu Han is oblivious to her. But maybe he’s just used to this. If Lu Han gets a penny thrown at him for every look aim his way, he would have been stoned to death and Baekhyun would have become a millionaire through his will already.

“What time will you be back tonight?” Lu Han asks before he finishes his soya milk in one gulp.

Baekhyun stuffs a dumpling into his mouth. “As usual, why?” he taps the side of Lu Han’s empty glass with his chopsticks idly, making tinkling sounds and stopping only when a granny from a neighboring table side eyes him. Baekhyun grins and mock salutes her with an unconvincing contrite look. “Why are you staring at me, Gran? Too handsome?” he jests and manages to charm her into smiling reluctantly back at him.

Lu Han rolls his eyes at Baekhyun’s antics. He might be the one with the looks, but Baekhyun could charm the pants off even the most vicious ajumma, and don’t we all know how fierce ajummas could be. Great allies, terrifying foes. “Don’t you choose who you flirt with?” Lu Han asks with sincere curiosity.

“My net is merely wide and encompassing,” Baekhyun says with utmost wisdom in his voice. “What about tonight?” he steers the conversation back on track.

“It’s the Golden Melody Awards show, I need company to watch it with,” Lu Han blinks at Baekhyun with wide innocent eyes, his whole unspoken plea written all over the stars in them.

Baekhyun is disgusted. “You can’t detest being called Bambi but use it to your advantage whenever you deem fit.”

“My double standard is thicker than a double cheeseburger,” Lu Han quips, moving to get up from his seat, “Red carpet is at 6pm, see you in front of the television.” He spares a glance at his watch and feels the stirring in his stomach start again, making him queasy and regretting breakfast. “Gotta go, audition starts at 1pm.”

“It’s only 8 am,” Baekhyun says while he finishes up his breakfast and starts making a move, too.

“But I have to be at the head of the queue so I can go home in time for the award show,” Lu Han says, looking so serious that Baekhyun couldn’t even take it as a joke. “You should come with me,” Lu Han adds nonchalantly.

Baekhyun sighs wearily, however, so maybe Lu Han’s nonchalance isn’t real. “Lu Han,” Baekhyun begins, sounding like this is a speech he’s been giving all too often.

But Lu Han just doubles over, clutching his heart, “Stop, I’ve already been shot down.”

So Baekhyun stops, putting the lid firmly back on the Pandora’s box that Lu Han always tries to open.

They stepped out of Old Canteen and the merciless sun causes them to squint their eyes. There, Lu Han bids farewell to Baekhyun, who has to leave for his job. His nerves are out in full force with the impending departure of his friend.

“Baekhyun, I’m scared,” Lu Han sulks.

In response, Baekhyun pets Lu Han’s head patronizingly and simpers, “Poor Lu Han, my poor little tiny Lu Han-”

“Fuck off!” Lu Han bats Baekhyun’s hand away and snarls at him.

“Then don’t go,” Baekhyun says carelessly, tucking his hand into his pocket.

But Lu Han just shakes his head determinedly. “No.”

Baekhyun sneers at him. “Are you the hero in a hot blooded idol drama or what,” he pats Lu Han’s cheek.

“Don’t dirty my face, I make a living with my looks,” Lu Han aims a kick at Baekhyun’s shin and he dances away to avoid it. Clearly, jokes about Lu Han’s appearance are kept strictly within his inner circle.

“At least you’re aware that’s all you’re good for!” Baekhyun yells his insult, jogging backwards before he turns and runs to catch the bus for work. Then he suddenly twirls around and jogs back until he’s right in front of Lu Han again. “You know,” Baekhyun pants a little, “I’ve told you umpteen times, this doesn’t mean anything.”

“No, it does to me,” Lu Han looks smugly at Baekhyun, who nurses a tiny fierce frown between his brows. He knows Baekhyun’s heart is softer than he lets on, this is just his way of saying to Lu Han, ‘You don’t have to do this for me.’

Lu Han rolls his eyes when Baekhyun’s frowning intensifies and he presses his thumb firmly in the middle of Baekhyun’s brows, but his touch is just a bit reproachful as he gently erases Baekhyun’s scowl.

Baekhyun swats Lu Han’s hand away so his frown is only half gone.

Lu Han sighs at him with the force of ten accumulated sighs, like one just isn’t enough to express his exasperation. “You know, you are actually the scaredy cat here,” he grins wryly as he utters the truth.

But Baekhyun just twists his lips. “Stupid.” He shakes his head, shakes off Lu Han’s warm touch and says before walking off again, “Whatever, I couldn’t care less about you.”

“That’s a relief, I was afraid you’ll be too in love with me.”

Lu Han watches Baekhyun until he disappears, sighing a little. It’s tiring having to care for his little duckling. The Lu Han takes in a deep breath to soothe himself, only to choke when his lungs end up getting filled with the smog in Beijing’s polluted air.

Ah, the smell of home.

♫♫♫

Lu Han stands in front of the CCTV Headquarters and marvels at its majestic architecture, feeling bubbles of excitement zip through him. The Chinese affectionately (?) nickname the building ‘Dakucha’, Big Boxer Shorts. In Singapore, locals call the Esplanade, ‘The Durian’. The Nebraska State Capitol is called ‘The Phallus of the Plains’, which is a really nice term for a dick, by the way. It is true that noble things - buildings and people alike - are all unable to escape the fate of getting a ridiculous nickname. It is the price of fame. Lu Han understands this, he understands so, so, well.

There are signs that direct hopefuls to the audition but the security guard tells Lu Han that people have begun queuing up since last night.

“Right,” Lu Han says with a tight smile. It’s all right, he has a backup plan. Nothing is going to stand between him and Do Kyungsoo tonight.

♫♫♫

Ok, so the plan to cut the queue has failed; although, was there ever any doubt it wouldn’t? Utterly speechless, Lu Han looks down at the queue number, *748. Even his queue number is cursing him.

The waiting hall is a vast single floor building that’s only half lined with red plastic chairs. Either the tv station has misjudged signup response or they simply ran out of resources, so people who’re in the queue without a chair sat on the floor while they wait. At first, Lu Han was a little embarrassed because he thought he’d be one of the oldest contestants, and would be misunderstood to be one of those people still harboring a dream of stardom in his mid-twenties, but in front of him sits a woman who looks to be in her forties and her kid wouldn’t stop making faces at Lu Han. In fact, there are people of all age groups in the venue, Lu Han spies a man who looks to be in his fifties right at the head of the queue. He also worries if he’s over or under-dressed in his black pants, white worn tee and sneakers, but when Naruto saunters over rapping to Jay Chou’s ‘Ye Qu’, Lu Han settles for feeling satisfied about being normal.

Naruto isn’t the only one though (just with the singing, he’s really the only anime contestant), there are people belting out songs everywhere while they wait. Lu Han feels too conscious to just burst out in song but he also feels extremely out of place and a total amateur compared to the rest of the participants. There’s a sudden need to prove he’s serious about this singing competition too, like, ‘yeah, I need to practise as well’. So he starts humming to himself under his breath, upping his volume when he gains confidence. When he finally begins singing aloud though, he looks over and sees the kid side-eying him. Lu Han realizes it doesn’t feel good to be judged, even if it’s by a nine year old.

“What?” he says self-defensively. But the boy just sighs. He sighs. As if he’s disappointed that Lu Han doesn’t even know where exactly he failed in life. Lu Han had no idea nine year olds were so good with insolence. Lu Han’s strawberry generation is nothing, Generation Z is some scary shit.

“This song doesn’t suit you,” the boy says critically.

“Why?” Lu Han frowns.

“You still need me to tell you why?” the boy frowns.

After getting rejected by twenty-nine people, Lu Han changes queue number with *778, the only number that’s willing to accept 748, and proceeds to spend the next four hours stuck between *‘Wo Pei’ (我呸|Play) and a jazzy rendition of ‘How Do I Live’, with both song titles being a true reflection of Lu Han’s state of mind.

For all his previous determination, Lu Han is seriously contemplating if he should walk away from the audition after a while. He overheard some chatter among the contestants and one claims he spent an entire year preparing for this competition, another travelled all the way here from Inner Mongolia with his ten year old guitar. Lu Han merely practised singing a few times yesterday and took a subway here. For him, the aim is to participate, not to win. He didn’t expect to feel embarrassed over this instead.

Lu Han is anxious only because he doesn’t want to end up making a fool of himself in front of the panel of judges and on national television, although no one is promising him any screentime. Furthermore, he’s definitely going to miss the red carpet for the Golden Melody Awards now that he’s 778, both literally and figuratively. But then he thinks of that little frown on Baekhyun’s face when he mentions this audition and sighs heavily. No, he’s definitely staying put. Byun Baekhyun is much, much more important than Do Kyungsoo. ‘How Do I Live’ glances over at the sound of his exhale, but Lu Han ignores him. What would LeAnn Rimes know about loyalty to brotherhood?

At half an hour past 1pm, the organizer finally had the decency to make an announcement via the PA system. The female voice sounds too loud and enthusiastic, making Lu Han wince with the sharpness of her it. “Dear contestants, thank you for participating in ‘Sing, Superstar!’. The Cpop industry is flooded with singing competitions in recent years and they’ve become tv entertainment for the masses. However, few have emerged to become real superstars and most singers fade-out along with the end of the season run. That is why ‘Sing, Superstar!’is different from other singing contests, we are not here to discover singing talents. That’s right, the contestant will be judged not just on their singing ability. While talent is important, it is not the only criteria to become a *heavenly king or queen. What we are looking for is someone with looks, talent and most importantly, he or she would possess the special characteristics of a superstar blah blah blah…, Lu Han blanks out the rest of the enthusiastic speech and perks up only when the female voice starts calling out numbers to enter the audition room. His pulse starts going overdrive with nerves again, only to fade when he realizes it’s just the start of another long wait. Somewhere he cannot see, the heartbroken wailing of an erhu begins to play.

Lu Han plugs in his earphones and starts looping Kyungsoo’s third album, a spring release called ‘Black City’, a hot favorite for tonight’s Golden Melody Awards, while he waits impatiently for his turn.

♫♫♫

“778, 778!”

Lu Han wakes up to someone cursing at him. “Why are you insulting me, LeAnn Rimes?” he asks blearily, when he finally works his eyes open.

LeAnn Rimes looks at him in confusion. “My name is Jongdae,” he says, “they’re calling number 778. It’s your turn.”

Lu Han shoots up and his earplugs snap disconnected from his phone. “Oh.” He looks at his watch first, priority still in place. It’s 6:15pm, so he’d miss the red carpet but should be home in time for the presentation of the biggest awards. There’s a message from Baekhyun as well. But Lu Han snatches his backpack up instead of opening the message. He needs to get this audition over with first. “Thanks, Jongdae,” his voice comes out raspy and Lu Han clears his throat hurriedly.

Jongdae laughs and hands him a bottle of water. “Good luck, see you in the second round,” he chimes with a broad smile, which Lu Han thinks is extremely gracious considering that they should be rivals. Maybe he does know something about brotherhood anyway.

Lu Han hastily pours water from the bottle into his mouth, careful not to touch the opening of the bottle. Then he returns the bottle to Jongdae, bowing to him, causing Jongdae to smile in bewilderment, “Thanks again,” he starts walking backwards towards the door that leads to the audition room, “my name is Lu Han! Not 778!”

Jongdae returns him a huge wave and a thumbs up. “Bye, 778!” he hollers.

Lu Han turns around at the insult, casting a suspicious eye on Jongdae but he’s smiling like an angel, so hmm, genuine mistake, maybe? Lu Han thinks as he makes his way over to the audition.

When Lu Han reaches the audition room, he sees a tall lanky boy standing at the door, hand raised as if he’s about to knock.

“777?” Lu Han asks, but even then, he knows this isn’t 777. Sleep didn’t addle his brains that much. 777 is a girl.

The boy turns around in surprise and Lu Han pauses in his tracks at the sight of his face, blinking for a while before he catches himself and resumes walking towards him. Damn, he just embarrassed himself. How old is he? Too old to get dazzled by another’s looks, anyway.

“Hi, uh, you cutting the queue?” Lu Han asks, body inclined forward in a little bow when he nears. That’s when he realizes the boy is tall, very tall and too skinny for his height, although Lu Han is in no place to comment on that. The boy has beautiful large clear eyes but Lu Han is too embarrassed to look into them for long and he quickly drops his gaze to his lips instead. They are a nice shade of pink and Lu Han flushes when he realizes what he’s doing. He lifts his vision back up to the boy’s eyes again, and his words gush out without preamble, “It’s ok, I understand. I wanted to cut the queue too, actually,” he scratches the back of his head sheepishly, “you should come in with me, 779 - I mean, Jongdae – Jongdae is nice but I just got to know him so I don’t know if he’d mind,” Lu Han rambles, grimacing at his babbling; he usually doesn’t talk to strangers at all but he knows when he’s trying to make an impression.

“No,” the boy begins, lowering his head in reciprocation of Lu Han’s bow, stunning him once again with how deep his voice is but Lu Han’s quick to recover this time. He beams and it’s now the tall boy’s turn to blink stupidly at Lu Han’s smile and how it blossoms on his face to make his features appear even more exquisite.

Lu Han has the notion that the boy is going to say more but he cannot stop his mouth in time. “It’s ok, don’t worry, let’s go!” Lu Han assures him and knocks on the door, smiling while he beckons the boy to walk in with him. And after blinking at Lu Han for a while, he does exactly that.

The room is large with huge red standing boards that has the words ‘Sing, Superstar!’printed on them and Lu Han has to drag the boy through a turn before they see the panel of judges and Lu Han brakes so abruptly, the lanky boy bumps into him.

The four judges sit behind a long table that’s lit up with red lighting and Lu Han freezes with horror when he sees renowned Taiwanese producer and star agent Wang Weizhong sitting on the extreme left, smiling at him. Even though Lu Han rarely bothers with people who work behind the scene, choosing to pay attention only to the entertainers themselves, he knows who Wang Weizhong is. He’s the producer of immensely popular shows like ‘Kang Xi Lai Le’ and ‘One Million Star’, and once won Televison Personality of the Year award in a ceremony that Do Kyungsoo was also involved in.

His eyes flit to the right and a sense of cold dread trickle down his spine when his eyes met with that of Cpop superstar, Zhang Yixing. It feels surreal to see him in person because Lu Han has Zhang Yixing’s multi-platinum third album, ‘Headliner’, slotted in his bookshelf right in his bedroom. True to its name, the album was released on New Year’s Eve, the last album to be released in 2012. It won Yixing Best Song of the Year, and his longtime songwriter/producer, Best Producer and Best Lyricist, in the following year’s Golden Melody Awards; the industry’s most prestigious award ceremony. In that same year, Do Kyungsoo made his debut, snagging home Best New Artist, Best Music Video and Best Male Singer with this debut self-titled album. He was the sole reason Zhang Yixing didn’t take home all the awards that year. To this day, they are still widely regarded by the media as each other’s worst rival. Although Kyungsoo had once tried to clear this up by stating pointblank in an interview that he doesn’t know Zhang Yixing personally at all. Needless to say, this is seen as provocation in an industry that requires celebrities to pretend to be friends with everyone. The next day, Yixing gave an interview, and when asked, he said Kyungsoo was best singer the industry ever had since Eason Chan. Next to this headline was a photo of Yixing posing with a poster of Kyungsoo in a music store, he had his dimples out in full force along with a peace sign. Lu Han was unsure if this was Yixing’s revenge but Kyungsoo never spoke of Yixing in interviews again.

Yixing hasn’t released an album for more two years, however, which is why he’s here, instead of being at the red carpet at the Golden Melody Awards held in Taipei right now.

Lu Han’s jaw loosens with incredibility when he sees A-Mei sitting beside Yixing. Two-time Best Female Singer award winner, renowned for her powerhouse vocals and outstanding live performances, she’s the number one diva Cpop has to offer the world. Lu Han always sings her ‘Ren Zhi’ (人质|Hostage) at the ktv.

Between A-Mei and Yixing sits a man who looks rather plain and nurses a goatee, but Lu Han has no doubt he’s also a bigshot in the entertainment industry. There are no name labels on the table, so Lu Han guess it’s just that he’s too ignorant to know who this man is.

His gaze flickers to the left and spies the multiple cameras that are focused on him. Lu Han should really have read up more on this competition before signing up for it. This is no longer just for Baekhyun or for fun. This is a very serious stage for very serious people who want to become professional singers. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for singers who train an entire year for, singers who travelled from all over China to Beijing for; the biggest stage they will ever perform in. Just getting heard by these people would be a dream in itself for them.

A deep red flush creeps up from Lu Han’s chest, crawls over his neck and floods his face, while he stands there and lets the four of them judge him, all of them towering among the rest even in an industry that only allows the elite to survive. Panic churns loudly in in his ears, drumming to the furious beat of his heart. Lu Han is too inadequate to stand here and even be judged, he’s an embarrassment. Who cares about Naruto and other participants, Lu Han should have worn something better, something more stylish, his Sunday best, really, instead of his black pants and old tee. He has worn better when he goes to Salitun and he’s going on television now, for God’s sake. His hair now curls on his nape and needs a cut or at least be styled; but he has let his soft bangs sweep across his forehead, making him seen younger than his actual age, he feels and looks just like a child. He already knows he’s underprepared compared to the rest of the contestants but now, it seems like he has not been paying attention to his appearance either. In truth, he looks like someone who couldn’t be bothered. Or rather, he couldn’t be bothered and people can tell with a glance. And his lack of preparation would be even more apparent when he sings. He would simply be shaming himself here on this stage.

Lu Han is in deep, deep, shit.

Wholly flustered, he forgets about the boy he pulled in along with him. So the tall boy slinks discreetly to the side and hides in the shadows where the cameras cannot see.

“You are very pretty,” Wang Weizhong comments to Lu Han. But it doesn’t sound like a compliment, just an objective remark. With more than thirty years of experience under his belt, Wang Weizhong - more commonly known as Weizhong-ge - has met countless beautiful faces, but Lu Han still impresses him with his looks. He is a boy who’s much prettier than the female stars in his agency, there’s still some news that can come out from this. Who doesn’t like news? Lu Han is also the best looking so far among all the contestants who have auditioned.

His words hit Lu Han like a ton of bricks and he recalls his manners. “Number 778, my name is Lu Han, I’m 25 years old this year. It’s an honor to meet you!” he says, too loudly, before sinking into a deep bow. Someone laughs, and holding his bow, Lu Han tilts his head up to see Yixing grinning at him with deep dimples at the sides of his mouth. Lu Han bites his lower lip, feeling his face burn when he remembers what his number is synonymous with. Shit, the show producer will have to edit this part out because of its obscenity, right?

“Straighten your back, Lu Han,” Weizhong-ge instructs, smile staying firmly on his lips. Courtesy gets one everywhere, especially in the entertainment circle. It’s a good start, even for someone unknown like Lu Han.

Lu Han springs up so fast, his back cricks and the panel of judges starts laughing. He lifts a hand to his forehead and closes his eyes in mortification, trying to recall how he ended up here, getting laughed at by hotshot producer Wang Weizhong and heavenly queen A-Mei. Then he remembers the numerous cameras that are focused on his every move and he whips his hand back down, instinctively turning to the cameras and peering at them accusingly.

“Which Chinese characters does your name refer to, *xiao shuai ge?” A-Mei asks and Lu Han tries not to hyperventilate just because he’s holding a conversation with Zhang Huimei, what the hell.

Feeling very self-conscious, Lu Han flattens his bangs as he sneaks a look again at the cameras trained on him. He decides not to embarrass himself even more on national television. “T-the ‘Lu’ in ‘Lu Ding Ji’, *’Han’ w-with ‘Ri’, ‘Jin’, ‘Kou’,” Lu Han says, stuttering because his heart is in his throat and his words come out tripping over each other. The jitters are causing him to tremble all over and he has to clench his hands into fists so they don’t shake.

“The ‘Lu’ in Xiaolu Bambi?” A-Mei exclaims and Lu Han can hear the glee in her voice. “So adorable!” she beams at Lu Han. “You look very nervous, Xiaolu, relax,” she says soothingly, putting her hands up, palms facing down and lowering them repeatedly, asking Lu Han to calm down.

Lu Han exhales deeply through his mouth, feeling his nerves settle a little and managing a watery for her. Thanks for letting the whole world know my nickname now, he thinks. But what can he do to a diva anyway? The biggest revenge he can extract is to be the demanding netizen he is and leave negative feedback on her latest release. Not that Lu Han would do it, because A-Mei seems so personable and kind.

But then the goateed man speaks up, “’Han’? The dawn to come? Deer of the dawn,” he smiles, “Your name is very beautiful.”

Lu Han blinks in surprise because he usually needs to explain the meaning of his name to people since ‘Han’ is not a Chinese character one encounters often, they usually just focus on the ‘Lu’. “Thank you,” he says, somewhat nonplussed.

“Have you ever been in any commercials? Or the lead in a MV?” Wang Weizhong asks.

“Uh, no,” Lu Han replies.

“Would you be interested to be in one? I find you very suitable and I have a lot of opportunities on hand,” Wang Weizhong says, then he laughs, “But there won’t be any female leads, you will be stealing their thunder.”

“Uh,” Lu Han says, so nervous that he has taken to twisting the hem of his sweater, “I already have a job…”

A-Mei laughs; she laughs just as loud off-screen as she does on-screen. “Weizhong-ge! This is not your ground for discovering talents for your own agency! Xiaolu is here to sing.”

“What do you work as?” Yixing asks.

This is the question Lu Han doesn’t want to answer. He wants to throw things at Yixing’s face and then himself onto the floor like a three year old who has been dealt a blow by life and is childish enough to show how upset he is. But Lu Han is an adult, so he answers the question, omitting crucial information, “An assistant in a music company.”

“Oh, which company?” Seriously, Yixing should quit singing and become a PI. Or a human bullseye of the dartboard. Either way, Lu Han would definitely patronize, in both meanings of the word.

“It’s located along Guanghua Road,” Lu Han answers the question by avoiding it. Lots of music companies are situated in Guanghua Road anyway.

“Along Guanghua Road…” A look of comprehension dawns on Yixing’s face and oh lord, Lu Han didn’t know he could dislike a superstar slash stranger with such intensity. “Warner? Universal?” he persists, but he couldn’t hold back the grin that’s threatening to eclipse his entire face.

Lu Han rolls his eyes to the ceiling and gives up. “…Duet.”

“That’s my company!” Yixing exclaims to the goateed man, who just nods.

“What, I didn’t know,” Lu Han exclaims too, like he doesn’t see Zhang Yixing’s wall sized poster everyday when he steps into the office. He’s a picture of innocence and Lu Han knows exactly how well he can pull this look off. If he’s not Mary’s little lamb, he doesn’t know who is. Technically, he has been caught red-handed by his boss at an interview for a new job.

“Because you like singing? That’s why you chose to work in a music company?” Yixing continues asking and Lu Han finally understands why Gen Z Kid sighs so much. Persistent questioning could drive anyone up the wall, no matter nine or twenty five year olds.

“Do you like singing, Lu Han?”

Lu Han looks up in surprise at the repeated question. Yixing tilts his head to one side, dimple showing on one side of his mouth as he gives a slight smile and waits for Lu Han’s answers. But perhaps Lu Han shouldn’t be surprised with this question. Which contestant hadn’t come here harboring dreams of becoming a singer? If he were to list down his hobbies, among them, Lu Han would include going to the ktv. If he were to list down his ambition though, it would be a blank space. But, “Yes,” Lu Han answers, because it’s the obvious reply under his current circumstances, even if it sounds like a lie.

Yixing grins at him as if he knows an inside joke and Lu Han smiles tightly back at him. Zhang Yixing is really hateful. Lu Han will definitely make a sock account and leave a comment in his weibo tonight.

“What song are you going to sing for us today, Lu Han?” the goateed man asks.

“Um, ‘Ting Jian Xia Yu De Sheng Yin’”, Lu Han says and watches a cryptic smile appear on the man’s face.

“Didn’t a kid also sing this just now?” Yixing asks A-Mei.

That Gen Z Kid, Lu Han narrows his eyes and clenches his fists.

“You can begin,” Weizhong-ge says, and immediately, Lu Han’s heart starts going into overdrive. A numbing tingle shoots up his nape, resting on the back of his head but there’s no time to even think about being nervous, he will just have to sing.

He starts singing, voice trembling. After just a line, Weizhong-ge puts his hand up, “Stop. Cut straight to the chorus, and you really need to relax or you can walk straight out of this door.” His face is an impassive mask, his voice calm and collected despite the harshness of his words. But he is right, while looks are important, they have no use for a singer who trembles in front of the camera and cannot even sing his lines right.

Lu Han is taken aback by the unexpected harshness of Weizhong-ge’s words. Wang Weizhong might smile a lot but he didn’t get to survive and come up top in the industry by being kind. Lu Han doesn’t dare look at the other judges, lest he invites more criticism. In his embarrassment, he lowers his head and squeezes his eyes shut. All right, he thinks, trying to collect himself, just sing, sing and then you can get the hell out of here. He imagines himself back in his bedroom yesterday, lying on his bed and singing to the ceiling. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, Lu Han finally feels peace drifts back to him. He keeps his eyes close and begins to sing again.

I finally hear the sound of the rain
And so my world has been roused from its sleep
I only fear that the emotions would redden my eyes
Unbearable tears that hang translucent on our faces

There’s a stretch of silence after he finishes the verse and Lu Han has to force himself to open his eyes.

“I thought you fell asleep,” Yixing chirps cheekily, grin forcing his eyes into slits, and the judges laugh at Lu Han again. Lu Han feigns laughter like a veteran artiste, but in that instant, he becomes a staunch anti of Yixing.

Weizhong-ge clears his throat and Lu Han stiffens, steeling himself for the barrage of criticism. “Lu Han, I’ll give you full marks for your looks and image.” He casts a critical eye on Lu Han, from head to toe, “You just need a clean up, you are already popular with girls, right?”

Lu Han shakes his head vigorously.

A-Mei throws her head back and emits a loud throaty laugh at his obvious lie, “He is so cute!” she squeals, thumping a fist on the table. Yixing actually looks afraid of her.

Weizhong-ge turns around and mocks A-Mei. “Can you control yourself? I haven’t finished.” A-Mei mimes zipping her mouth, resting her hands on her lap and assuming a meek demeanor; a schoolgirl who has been properly chastised. But she winks at Lu Han who can’t help smiling back at the songstress, who doesn’t seem to act like she’s Cpop Queen at all.

“But your voice is indistinctive, it is flat, unable to carry emotions and convey little to the listener. Without your face, your voice has no value at all,” At this, Lu Han flattens his lips. He doesn’t need one more person to remind him of what he’s only good for, but Weizhong-ge isn’t done yet, “At best, all I can say is you didn’t go out of tune for someone who clearly has never received singing lessons. That said,” he pauses and Lu Han barely manages to muster a stiff polite nod at him, all his jitters have been traded in for dull anger. Weizhong-ge smiles at that, he has an idea Lu Han is more than what he lets on, but he would have to wait to find out. Maybe in the second round. “That said, I like you,” he bestows a fatherly smile onto Lu Han.

But ungrateful Lu Han just widens his eyes in shock because uh, he kind of doesn’t want to advance to the next round. This nightmare is going to continue?

“With a face like yours, you should be earning a living in this industry. To remind everyone here,” Weizhong-ge leans over to survey the rest of the judges, “we aren’t looking for just a singer today, but someone who would go on to become a star. We have discovered far too many singers who can sing but end up sinking anyway. There is no more point in this. Do we still need to unearth more voices when the entertainment scene is already awash with accomplished singers who just don’t have the popularity to sustain their singing careers? Technique can still be taught, you don’t sing badly, Lu Han, you just won’t be able to make it as anything else other than an idol singer. You must take this as a compliment. It’s already a step up compared to a lot of idols on the scene,” he laughs when Yixing reaches over to jostle him for names, “Zhang Yixing, for one,” he jests and A-Mei roars so boisterously, Yixing plugs fingers into his ears.

“Please put your powerhouse vocals to singing uses only,” he says and A-Mei punches him viciously on his bicep with a giggle. Yixing is careful to smile widely to show the cameras he’s fine.

“Andy Lau started out as an idol too, and look where he stands today. We can only have one Andy Lau, however, your route will have to be paved out by yourself. But for now, I will pass you,” Weizhong-ge says, tapping his finger on the table.

“I concur,” Yixing declares with a broad grin, nearly sending Lu Han into panic mode again. He only needs one more judge to clear him into the next round and surely that’d be a waste of national resources. People shouldn’t be paying tax for this.

“I disagree,” the goateed man says and Lu Han first feels glad, then insulted. “I wrote the lyrics for this song based on the point of view of a girl who’s in love, and I didn’t get that from your rendition at all. Furthermore, this is a relatively easy song to sing, it’s hard to judge your technique with a song like this. You made a huge mistake picking this to perform.”

Lu Han didn’t give much thought on which song to sing, to be honest, and he’s stuck dumb by the man’s words; they run in a line across his mind: I wrote the lyrics for this song. I wrote the lyrics for this song. I wrote the lyrics for this song. Who are these people? Lu Han thinks disbelievingly.

A-Mei cuts through his thoughts. “Congratulations, Xiaolu!” she beams.

“Huh?” Lu Han utters loudly without meaning to, but he has finally lost it. It’s just Zhang Huimei addressing him anyway; his definition of normalcy has been altered greatly in the last thirty minutes or so.

“See you in the second round!”

♫♫♫

The first thing Lu Han does after coming out of the station is to take out his phone to check who wrote the lyrics for Rhythm of the Rain. Fang Wenshan, Baidu says, longtime collaborator of Jay Chou, and proceeds to rattle out a long list of their works. Goddamn, Lu Han grew up listening to their songs. His knees go soft and he just sat on the steps that lead to CCTV, trying his best not to recollect what just happened. But like all human beings, he scrutinizes his latest piece of memory and revisits the most horrifying part where Wang Weizhong basically said he’s talentless over and over again. Mortified, Lu Han squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head to shake off the image, before opening his eyes again.

There are a couple of people crying around him, probably because they don’t clutch a red card in their hands that says ‘Congratulations’. Lu Han spies the Inner Mongolian guy sitting ten steps away, staring motionlessly at the ten year old guitar in his lap, and he hastily folds his own red card into half and stuffs it into his bag, as if he’s ashamed of it. “Shit!” Lu Han suddenly recalls he needs to rush back home. Checking his watch, he finds that it’s almost 7pm. Amazing. His ordeal actually lasted less than 45mins, But Lu Han feels like he has already lived his life over and gotten reincarnated as a new person.

As if this was some life changing shit.

♫♫♫

“What kind of sang namja are you?” Baekhyun scorns as he passes the teary Lu Han a tissue. “And can you at least wear a tee, don’t you feel cold?” He appraises Lu Han’s torso critically.

“You don’t understand,” Lu Han dabs at the corners of his eyes, “Antis have been saying Do Kyungsoo would never be able to surpass the success of his first album after he went home empty handed with his second album last year and they gloat when two famed members in his production team left seeking greener pastures. But three years later, he finally proves them wrong with this same award he won in his debut year.” He does a quiet fist pump, letting his emotions settle before scowling at Baekhyun, “And what, it’s not like this is our first time seeing each other’s naked body. The fan’s working fine, I feel comfortable, you can admire my body. Win-win-win.”

“You have never seen me naked, Lu Han.”

“There are many things I don’t tell you, Baekhyun.”

They are in front of the television, with Lu Han in his black boxers. It took Lu Han a good two hours to travel back to his shared rented apartment with Baekhyun in Liangxiang since it’s situated far from the city center and is chocked full of students because it’s a university town, but that makes the rent cheap. They’d probably fare better renting a shoebox apartment because breaking the wall between their rooms would result in a room that’s even smaller than a standard living room but private space is more precious than more space, they reckon. Besides, they already have a living room, no matter how tiny it is, it’s still a luxury, even if the kitchen has sort of merged into it. Commuting doesn’t bother Lu Han because he’s used to it, it’s a daily part of his life anyway. When he reached home, he shed his clothes like a caterpillar shedding its cocoon and emerged free and beautiful to sprawl on the couch in front of the television where Baekhyun was already watching the award ceremony. He made it just in time for presentation of the Best Male Singer award.

Baekhyun scoffs, “If I’d wanted to look at ribs, I’d have gone and stare at some in the meat section of the supermart-” but just then, Lu Han slaps a hand over Baekhyun’s mouth. “Shut up, Kyungsoo’s saying his thank you speech.”

Baekhyun licks the palm of Lu Han and he yelps, removing his hand. “Look, they have to adjust the mic stand for him because he’s too short,” Baekhyun cackles, when the award presenter Jo Insung had to help Kyungsoo lower the mic stand.

“Don’t laugh at your kind,” Lu Han replies half heartedly, with his attention on Kyungsoo, failing to notice that he has also just insulted his favorite singer.

“I would like to thank everyone for walking this path with me, if you are my anti, thank you for giving me a reason to be strong,” onscreen Kyungsoo says with a smile. “If you are my fan-”

“That’s me,” Lu Han leans over to press his shoulder onto Baekhyun’s side and he continues to stay there. Baekhyun feigns displeasure and mock punches and kicks Lu Han until he flops over defeated over the other end of the couch. The next time, Lu Han makes his clingy way over to Baekhyun, the latter just sighs and they snuggle uncomfortably in the heat on the couch, Baekhyun acting like a comforter for Lu Han despite his snubbing while they watch Kyungsoo give his speech.

“-you are the reason why I am strong, thank you for screaming even louder for me when the jeers begin. People usually start out at the base of a hill, but somehow I embarked at the top of the mountain and they were asking me to come down,” Kyungsoo breaks into a laugh, and his fans in the audience reciprocate by screaming so loud, Jo Insung mischievously sticks his fingers into his ears.

“Not today,” Kyungsoo shakes his head and stares right into the camera, his eyes positively glitter with unrelenting determination, and he bows, holding it for a long time (five seconds, a report says, the next day) before moving off to the side of the stage.

“This is why the media says he’s rude,” Baekhyun spits vehemently, pointing at Kyungsoo’s back.

“This is why I like him,” Lu Han says to Baekhyun who grunts, “I passed the audition today,” he adds, as if this was just an afterthought, grimacing when the memory surfaces.

“There sure are a lot of tone deaf but superficial people in this world,” Baekhyun replies, eyes still on the television.

It’s like provoking a cobra that has already bitten him multiple times before. But Lu Han sucks in a deep breath and plunges in headfirst. “Auditions are still going on, I think you should go, it would be an incredible chance for you, Baekhyun, it wouldn’t be like how it was before,” Baekhyun pushes him off his side but Lu Han clings onto him desperately, and his words surge forth before he’s asked to shut up, “They aren’t tone deaf, they are professionals, you just need to go and do what you do best, Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun…” he chants like an irritating but well-meaning mother.

Baekhyun doesn’t even get mad, he’s just disheartened. “Is this a game to you, Lu Han?” he says, heaving a sigh. “You are so childish, what you do has no impact on my decision, I’ve already told you so. I’d be happy for you if you had wanted to become a singer but what are you trying to prove now?”

But if Lu Han could be defeated with words, then he wouldn’t be able to stay best friends with sharp-tongued Baekhyun. “I don’t think you know how serious I am,” Lu Han grins, taking Baekhyun hand within his and then snatching it back when Baekhyun tries to remove it. “I had wanted you to come with me, and even if you didn’t want to join, I just want to take that first step for you. You know, Baekhyun,” a serious look takes over Lu Han’s face, and he clutches their hands together, “you really are a good for nothing.”

Baekhyun grabs a pillow and tries to smother Lu Han, who guffaws and arches his body to throw him off. “But,” he gasps, “when you sing, you glow. Really. You are like a totally different person. You sing, that’s what you do. Why did you stop?” Lu Han finally stops smiling when he says these words. “Who cares about Do Kyungsoo? You are my favorite singer in the world.”

For a moment, there’s only silence as they gaze at each other and Lu Han thinks Baekhyun’s eyes look wet. But in the next second, Baekhyun just rolls his eyes and gets up to saunter to his room. “According to our last agreement, whenever you bring this up, we are to abstain from this topic for the next three days.”

“Two!” Lu Han kicks his legs in protest from where he’s left alone from the couch. “Five.” he hears Baekhyun says before he closes his door.

“Ok, three!” shouts Lu Han and waits in vain for Baekhyun’s reply. Even though there’s no audience, Lu Han kicks his legs a couple more times to show his displeasure.

♫♫♫

Since he’s going to have to refrain from broaching the subject for three days, Lu Han decides to make full use of his rule violation and be truly madly deeply annoying. Retreating into his room, he retrieves his crushed card from his bag, and sees that there are blanks where he can pen down his name and contestant number. Planning to stick it onto Baekhyun’s door, he writes down his name on it and is about to note down his number as well when he pauses. 778 is just too shameful to link himself to, so he writes down 777 instead. But as he’s writing the last 7, he suddenly throws his pen down.

“777!” he yells, suddenly recalling the tall pretty boy he pulled into the audition room with. Then he wails, “Ahh!” and throws himself onto the bed with despair when he thinks of how the pretty boy must have witnessed all his embarrassment.

“Shut up!” Baekhyun shouts from his room and Lu Han grabs a Jin Yong novel that’s lying on his bed to throw against their common wall just to piss him off even more. Stupid singer who doesn’t want to sing.

Collapsing back onto his bed, he closes his eyes and the boy’s face blooms on the back of his lids as if it were a drop of blood dispersing in a pool of water. He didn’t even get to know the boy’s name, Lu Han laments.

His eyes are so beautiful, he thinks and Lu Han’s lured into dreamless slumber by this thought.

♫♫♫

Lu Han was introduced to his current job by a friend of Baekhyun’s. He likes singing at the ktv but to answer Yixing’s question, he didn’t choose to work in a music company because he had dreams of becoming a singer, it just happened. He needed a job and there was an opportunity, so why not? Unlike him, Baekhyun chooses to work in a record store because he loves singing, it’s just that he no longer wants to be a singer. Anyway, that was how he got the connection. The work might not be Lu Han’s true aspiration in life but fair enough, Lu Han doesn’t know what he truly aspires to be anyway, and it is a decent job. There are occasions when he needs to put in overtime because the entertainment industry never sleeps but that’s fine with him since he has no other obligations and he gets paid for additional hours, which adds up to a salary that allows him to sustain his lifestyle. This line of work is interesting, too, and it’s kind of fun to see artistes from time to time.

Duet was set up by Zhang Yixing in just his fourth year of being a singer, a year after the tremendously successful ‘Headliner’ that propelled Yixing to superstardom and decorated him much acclaim. His contract with his previous company was up and initially, his objective was to steer his career free of the idol image his agent wished him to maintain and gain freedom and control of all his works (also the exact reason for the delayed release of his next album, it always requires ‘more work’). But the company soon expands under his name and now, besides publishing music, Duet also manages artistes, produces concerts, designs and creates star merchandise, et cetera. Lu Han is an administrative assistant, which means he wouldn’t be attached to any artiste; and since he’s just starting out, his primary scope is restricted to maintaining budgets, talent sourcing, as well as making unsolicited calls to television stations enquiring if there are any suitable shows for their artistes to appear on, following up on work that ranges from pay negotiation to supplier communication.

Although it’s the fun and excitement of the circle that attracts Lu Han, this is still a job and he takes his work seriously, diligently learning the ropes as fast as he can and works hard to ensure his job is well done. This, including the fact that he’s Xiaolu Bambi, makes him well-liked at the company. Another reason is because Lu Han never refuses requests for him to make the runs to buy supper for staff who had to work late in the company, which happens all the time. They think the cute obedient rookie, but while Lu Han is a sociable person, the true reason is because he takes pity on them as their work is simply too tough compared to his desk job. Regardless how much overtime Lu Han puts in, how conscientious he is at his job, he’s absolutely nothing compared to these dedicated people who seems to take their work as a personal mission. The glitzy impression he has of the entertainment circle dims when he finally realizes just how much hard work it entails. But when he tells them that, they would shake their heads and say that, no, making music isn’t hard work, it’s a passion; Lu Han wonders what it’s like to harbor a passion. Then they would say that their bosses work even harder, at least they can eat and go home to sleep on their beds. On the other hand, it seems like Zhang Yixing and his artistes frequently work overnight in the studio and have to refuse dinner in order to maintain their appearances.

There aren’t a lot of artistes signed onto Duet, most prominently Yixing, who manages himself and is their biggest cashcow, and a duo called *Soultrapped that won Best New Group in last year’s GMA but has (also) failed to follow up with a second album after a year and a half. Even so, there’s still a lot of work to do since concerts have become singers’ main source of revenue after digital music and the internet have revolutionized the industry. In addition, Deut houses composers, lyricists, creative directors and other behind the scene workers as well - many of them famed and well established in the industry, signed into Duet because of their shared aspirations with Yixing – and singers from other companies frequently require their services, so Lu Han is kept busy and has learned a ton of things.

There’s a little nuisance, however, he notices that there have been an increasing number in the invitations for him to attend drinking sessions, especially from the younger male staff in the company. He’s careful to decline them all and equally cautious to be polite when he does so. There’s also unwanted attention when he first joins an organization but it will soon die down when people realize his face is to be taken just at face value and he’s just a regular guy like them. They aren’t really attracted to him, they just belong to Category I: The Afflicted. Lu Han sighs, it’s hard being good looking, he thinks.

Today, he groans inwardly when he taps his employee card and the company’s doors slide open to reveal Zhang Yixing’s face. The wall sticker repeats Zhang Yixing’s face over and over again as it stretches along the entire corridor which really helps Lu Han to recap that horrible audition memory over and over again as he walks to his desk. He hasn’t even finished recoiling from that gleeful expression on A-Mei’s face when she informed him on his advancement when the receptionist places a small envelope onto his desk.

“Xiaolu, help bring this to level 3,” she says, tapping the ‘urgent’ that’s stamped onto the envelope.

“Level 3?” Lu Han lights up, all thoughts of the audition flying out of his mind. Level 3 is forbidden city because it’s where the recording studios are located and he’s been warned again and again not to step foot there lest he disrupts recording sessions, so Lu Han has been very, very curious.

“I know you’ve always wanted to go there, Xiao Lulu,” Jiayan lifts a knowing brow and folding her arms, assuming a superior pose.

Lu Han bows like the humble eunuch he is. “Thanks, *Xiaoyan-jie!” he twitters before snatching up the envelop and bounding his way up.

Jiayan shakes her head in regret as she stares at Lu Han’s back. So fresh and tantalizing. If only she were ten years younger.

When he reaches the third floor, Lu Han presses his ear against the door of the nearest studio, not knowing he’s being dumb; no noise is able to pass through or enter this door. There’s no window on the door so when Lu Han naturally hears nothing, he thinks it safe to open the door and explore the studio.

He stands stock-still at the sight in front of him, however, and it takes a second before he could muster his wits and whispers loudly.

“777!”

♫♫♫

Chanyeol turns around in irritation when he hears the door to his studio open when he’s in the midst of touching up the title track to Soultrapped’s second album. Time is running tight and no one should have the audacity to interrupt him in his studio when he’s at work. But the boy who opened the door looks even more shocked than him.

“777!” he exclaims in a hushed awed voice, mouth forming a small ‘o’ in his amazement.

Similarly, Chanyeol also immediately recalls the boy he met when he was at the audition for Sing, Superstar!, it’s hard to forget a face like that, not to mention how he dragged Chanyeol into the audition room. “Oh,” Chanyeol says, rather anticlimactically, still sitting in his chair, his indignation quickly displaced by surprise. He stops the music from playing, and the brightly lit studio is suddenly filled with his awkwardness. “Hi!” he adds on the cheery greeting as if sensing that he should be more enthusiastic.

It’s too late, he sees something akin to disappointment slide across the boy’s face and then off it in a second. “What are you doing here?” the boy asks excitedly, before realizing how rude that sounds and looks flustered for a moment, “I mean, I work here, started not too long ago,” then his face brightens up again, as if someone has flicked on the ‘Good Feelings’ switch inside of him, “Do you work here, too? You want to be a singer, right, that’s why you were at the audition?” After saying this, the boy cringes, as if he just recalled something bad.

Chanyeol watches the variety of expressions flit on the boy’s face and amused, he breaks into a smile, feeling the pressure of working on two albums simultaneously lifts off his back; he remembers how the boy’s audition went, too. “Yes, I work here,” he says, finally standing up, watching the boy’s head tilt up to follow his eyes, “My name is Park Chanyeol,” he introduces himself to the pretty boy, extending a hand and admiring the gentleness in his eyes before a snippet of conversation he had before drifts into his mind.

The new assistant is really cute.

Oh. Chanyeol regards Lu Han with new understanding.

Lu Han makes a small sound as if finally remembering his manners. He tucks the envelope against his side with his arm and drops into a small bow, holding Chanyeol’s hands with both of his. “Lu Han,” he says, feeling the warmth encompassing his hand seeps right into his heart. He is excited at seeing the boy again and under such unexpected circumstances too, although it’s a tad disappointing that Chanyeol doesn’t seem to share the same thought. But that just makes him even more special to Lu Han. Usually, it’s people who are scrambling to impress Lu Han, Chanyeol is the first person Lu Han voluntarily wants to get closer to and know better, that’s what Lu Han’s self-awareness is telling him. He knows he’s supposed to be much more reserved than this when it comes to strangers, but Lu Han doesn’t want to be his usual self right now. He lifts his head up to peer into Chanyeol’s eyes; he’s even taller than Lu Han remembers but his eyes are just as beautiful as they were when they first met. They are so clear, Lu Han can see himself in them.

His lips curl unconsciously at its ends, pulling the corners of his mouth up to draw his face into a pleasing smile, the stars sparkling in his eyes. Lu Han doesn’t know he looks particularly pretty like this, when his genuine good feelings paint his face into an even more beautiful picture. But all this is imprinted into Chanyeol’s mind, Zitao is right when he says Lu Han is very attractive.

“The ‘Lu’ in ‘Lu Ding Ji’, right?” Chanyeol jests, his own lips tugged into a large smile.

Not Xiaolu Bambi, he didn’t call him Xiaolu. Lu Han blinks for a while before he nods happily, misunderstanding it to be Chanyeol’s own interpretation. It’s easy for him to forget that Chanyeol was also in the audition room with him that day because this thought just keeps repeating in his mind: Chanyeol is really different. He is really special.

“I’ve never seen you before in the office though,” he says to Chanyeol, too polite to ask the question outright, afraid of being seen as probing.

“I’m usually trapped in the studio,” Chanyeol says honestly.

“Oh, I work in the admin office on the first floor,” supplies Lu Han, careful to keep his smile on and appear appealing.

Nodding, Chanyeol says, “This is such a coincidence.” But Lu Han can tell he’s just saying this to fill in the otherwise awkward silence. Still, he is grateful that Chanyeol is friendly. “Yeah, yeah, isn’t it?” he agrees profusely, unable to hide his enthusiasm and frankly, he’s not sure if he’s able to.

Chanyeol grins back at Lu Han, who realizes that their conversation has come to an end. He thinks furiously trying to come up with something to say before he has to make his obvious exit, eventually recalling why he came up here in the first place. “I am to deliver this,” he hands the envelope over to Chanyeol who snatches it over and rips it open to find a flash drive in it.

“Finally,” Chanyeol heaves a sigh of relief, “thanks, Lu Han.” He has been waiting for these demos for the longest time. He gives Lu Han another of his trademark Cheshire grin again.

But Lu Han frets because he really can’t find nothing else to say, not being much of a conversationalist, and has run out of reasons to continue staying here. “Uh, I guess I should be going?” he mumbles unwillingly, hoping Chanyeol would reply his question but to Lu Han’s dismay, he simply bobs his head forward and says, “Thanks again, gooodbye.”

Awkwardly, Lu Han also nods to Chanyeol before he reluctantly lets himself out of the studio, closing the door beside him. He doesn’t know when he’d be allowed up to the studios again. Lu Han stands at a loss outside Chanyeol’s studio. He has never courted anyone before in his life, he has never needed to, people usually chase after him instead. He doesn’t know what to-

Oh, fuck it. He’s a sang namja.

A mere second later, Lu Han bursts through the door again.

Chanyeol stares wide eyed at Lu Han, paused in the middle of sitting back down in his chair.

“You know, I think we should be friends,” Lu Han says breathlessly, heart pounding fiercely in his chest.

But he’s kind of offhand.

Doesn’t seem so, Chanyeol thinks, still staring at Lu Han who has a determined look on his face, kind of forward, actually.

“Can I give you my number?” Pulling his handphone out of his pocket, Lu Han bites his lower lip and waits. He’s giving Chanyeol the option of whether he wants to contact Lu Han, which is extremely nice of him, since he looks like he would really like to have Chanyeol’s number.

Some of the guys have started placing bets on who can get him out on a date first.

That’s a very rude thing to do, Chanyeol thinks, now and that he knows Lu Han as well, he’d be sure to talk to Zitao and tell him not to-

Or are you still as devoted as ever?

Chanyeol stills in his pondering. He’s not, he doesn’t want to be so. Slowly, he rises to his feet again. Pulling his handphone out from the backpocket of his ripped jeans, Chanyeol unlocks the screen and hands it to Lu Han. “Why don’t we exchange numbers instead?” His voice is low, soft and inviting to Lu Han.

The determination on Lu Han’s face fades to a smile of immense relief. He takes Chanyeol’s phone and passes his own to him.

When their fingers touch, Lu Han’s heart skips a beat and loses all its rhythm, like a song that needs a new composer.

♫♫♫

“Who’s that?” Yixing asks when he enters the studio through an adjoining door that leads to his office. He heard noises, but only manages to see the door close after Lu Han.

778, Chanyeol answers in his mind and cracks a smile at the vulgarity. Lu Han amuses him so much. But, “No one,” Chanyeol says, pocketing his phone and throwing the usb drive to Yixing who fumbles and manages to catch it before it hits the floor. “The demos for Soultrapped. Please, pick something Sehun can sing this time. I am invincible, but even that is not enough for his singing voice.” The exasperation in his voice is evident.

“That song doesn’t exist, Chanyeol,” Yixing says seriously before he doubles over, laughing loudly at his own joke, his dimples popping out.

Chanyeol has to tear his eyes away from the sight. He has already penned that smile into too many songs, gotten too many people just as hooked as he is.

“You wrote ‘Trouble’ and you refused to lower the key for it. Talk about creating your own troubles.” Yixing flops down onto Chanyeol’s chair and meddles with the buttons on the mixing console. ‘Trouble’ resumes playing in the studio. “Turns out well,” he nods his head approvingly when the part that troubled Sehun so comes up, bobbing along to the beat of the dance track.

Dropping down to the chair beside Yixing, Chanyeol taps his fingers on the table and says, “I wrote it for you, you can hit that note.” The accusation in his voice is mild, however. Chanyeol spoils a lot of people but he spoils Yixing the most.

Yixing closes his eyes, mouthing the lyrics for a while before he opens his eyes. “It could be the title track on Soultrapped’s new album but on mine, next to ‘No Difference’, ‘Trouble’ can only be just a dance track. You wrote that ballad too well, it’s hard to even arrange songs on the album now.” Yixing beams at Chanyeol, but his words only prove how Yixing is trouble to Chanyeol, but Chanyeol to Yixing is probably just no difference. At least that’s how Chanyeol sees it.

“By the way, I’m thinking of signing on a new singer.” Yixing suddenly perks up.

“Why don’t we release Soultrapped’s album first? Or, you know what, how about we release your album first?” Chanyeol replies tiredly. “Why do we take years to release an album when we always work around the clock? Do you know what media calls us?”

“Most promising new start up in the industry? Voted ‘Company with the Most Handsome Boss’ by readers?” Yixing guesses, pretty wildly, it seems.

“The music company that doesn’t release music,” answers Chanyeol darkly.

Yixing gasps with the insult. “Shut up, perfection takes time,” he counters fiercely, “and how dare you, you have no right to complain when you’re the one rejecting songs and switching tracks on completed albums.”

“Anyway, you were saying?” Chanyeol attempts to switch track again.

“I met a very promising talent during the audition,” Yixing continues excitedly, eye glittering with great expectations.

“Let me guess,” Chanyeol pretends to think seriously, “Xiaolu Bambi?” And then before Yixing could even confirm his guess, he demands, “Why are you so adamant on signing on idol singers? Why can’t we sign on competent singers like Yoga Lin?”

“But Yoga Lin doesn’t want to sign on to us, Chanyeol, we are ugly and gross and commercialized, Yoga wants to sing indie only,” Yixing says imploringly, “besides it’s not fun to sign on people who can already sing, it’s more fun to defeat the odds,” he says, a sly smile transforming his features. “And didn’t you see him that day in the audition when you came to look for me, he’s cute, isn’t he? Anyway, it’s still too early to tell, I’ll decide when he makes it to more advanced rounds.”

“Why not 779?” Chanyeol persists. He got to listen to 779 that day, too. “779 sings very well.”

“Oh, 779 will have offers, regardless,” Yixing assures Chanyeol with an undecipherable dimpled grin.

But Chanyeol is suddenly distracted from Yixing’s smile when he thinks of Lu Han’s grimace when he mentions the audition to Chanyeol, and he bursts out laughing. He doesn’t think Lu Han would appreciate Yixing’s intention at all.

“What?” Yixing asks curiously. Chanyeol is rarely distracted when he talks to him.

“Nothing,” Chanyeol says, fond smile turning his eyes soft and Yixing returns him a grin. This is the Chanyeol he’s used to.

“Have you seen him in the company before though? Xiaolu Bambi said he works here, didn’t he.”

“No,” Chanyeol lies again, he doesn’t want to mention Lu Han in front of Yixing for some reason. He just doesn’t feel like it. “He said he’s an assistant and we don’t even go out of the studio much, parallel paths,” he reasons. “When’s the next round of auditons?”

“Three days later.”

Chanyeol frowns. “I don’t know why you have to agree to be the judge just as we’re entering the last leg for album preparations, it will distract you.” He has attempted to dissuade Yixing many times to no avail. There are many things Yixing has to prepare for the album, besides co-producing the album, he also has to oversee the overall creative work, conceptualizing, styling as well as getting into the best condition for photoshoot and promotions. This is overloading, and as much as Chanyeol wishes he doesn’t, he worries about Yixing. But he keeps it a secret as much as he can, choosing to write all his unspoken words into the lyrics of a song, *all of them linked into a rhythm that echoes at the end of every line.

But Yixing disagrees. “It’s so inspiring, Chanyeol. I’ve met so many bright people, not necessarily young, too, mind you. They remind me when I’m still in this business, and they remind me how lucky I am, how much I still love making music. I think it has been a great decision, in fact, it rejuvenates me! I feel so charged for album promotions!” he beams, despite the dark circles beneath his eyes. His hair has gotten long, he keeps it so for the new image and Chanyeol’s fingers itch to lift those strands out of Yixing’s eyes.

But he doesn’t do that. Instead, Chanyeol rolls his eyes, choosing to appear exasperated. Talk is clearly futile anyway. “I hope Xiaolu Bambi doesn’t disappoint you then.”

“He won’t.”

♫♫♫

i have a pen my pen is blue do kyungsoo sings better than you

do kyungsoo is so much more superior ever since his debut you’re just left eating his dust he’s also much cuter and he’s even going to start acting if you can’t even release an album within two years then you might as well just retire ha

what’s the big deal with dimples!! you got them drilled into your face anyway was plastic surgery painful zyx

Wow, this feels really good, Lu Han thinks as he leaves yet another string of insults on Yixing’s weibo before logging off his sock account, aliendogzyx. No wonder antis have better health, all these convenient outlets for stress relief, even if they are built on the unhappiness of others.

He bounds out to the living room and collapses onto the couch where Baekhyun is sitting, absorbed in watching a dating game show that’s really about a bunch of girls ridiculing male contestants, which is why it’s popular. Lu Han stares at Baekhyun who resolutely refuses to acknowledge his presence. If he even looks at Lu Han, the latter would stick onto him like unwanted gum on the bottom on his sole. This tactic of Lu Han has been employed too many times for Baekhyun to fall for it again.

“Why are you ignoring my existence?” Lu Han asks when he can stand it no longer.

“You have never existed in my eyes,” Baekhyun replies without missing a beat, attention still fixed on the television.

“You are so mean,” sighs Lu Han regretfully.

“Kindness shouldn’t be wasted on you,” Baekhyun explains.

Lu Han sighs and lies down on the couch, which means his head is on Baekhyun’s lap. Baekhyun pushes his head off his lap, but Lu Han refuses to be nudged away, he fights to stay lying there in an extremely uncomfortable position with his forehead tucked under Baekhyun’s thigh. Baekhyun is too lazy to continue fighting; Lu Han takes this as a victory.

“I think I am in love,” Lu Han announces.

Baekhyun reacts so violently, he accidentally thumps Lu Han’s head with his thigh. “What!”

Lu Han yips and shoots up. “Oh god, brain concussion,” he cradles his head, “I’m having a brain concussion.”

“Don’t worry, your brain hadn’t been normal for the past twenty five years, it can take this,” Baekhyun reassures Lu Han, “Who are you in love with? You don’t date, you reject everyone who comes your way,” he asks. In all the years he has known Lu Han, his friend has always been very cautious about his pursuers. Lu Han never talks about his love life or boasts but Baekhyun knows there are many of them, although Lu Han doesn’t date. “Superficial love only lasts as long as the looks last,” Lu Han had said wisely when Baekhyun once asked. But perhaps, Lu Han has just never encountered anyone he likes, because he fell for Chanyeol’s beautiful eyes, too, didn’t he? Superficial hypocrite.

Lu Han simply cannot contain himself, he laughs like a giddy schoolgirl. Taking the chance to rest his head back onto Baekhyun’s thigh, Lu Han hides his face with his hands as if bashful, and peeks up at Baekhyun through his fingers. “His name is Park Chanyeol,” he whispers in a rush, then he just can’t help it, he gloats.

Baekhyun is too shocked by the fact that Lu Han is dating without his knowledge to push his head off his lap. “And?”

“I met him at the audition and it turns out we work at the same company.”

“And?”

Lu Han thinks about it. “That’s all I know about him.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun regains his senses enough to push Lu Han’s head off his thigh, “You aren’t dating then.”

“But I might be!” Lu Han protests, crawling back into Baekhyun’s lap like a cat, “He has really big eyes,” he sighs, leaning his head onto Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“Get the fuck off, it’s hot, my skin is getting sticky,” Baekhyun finally shoves Lu Han off with all his strength, adding in a kick when he sees Lu Han attempting to make a comeback, “stay down or we’re not having this conversation anymore.”

Lu Han stays down because he really wants to continue this conversation that’s really about him moping over Chanyeol. “He has really big eyes,” Lu Han repeats dreamily, hands clutching Baekhyun’s foot that’s still resting on his right shoulder to pin him down on the other end of the couch, like it’s his loveline or something.

“So did Gollum,” Baekhyun says snidely, wiggling his toes against Lu Han’s fingers.

“Do you think he’d reciprocate like Gollum did if I give him a ring?” Lu Han wanders off in his wonderland, playing with Baekhyun’s toes.

Baekhyun is wondering whether he should tell Lu Han that he hasn’t washed his feet yet, but ends up barking with laughter at Lu Han’s words. Lu Han chuckles, too, when he sees that has managed to make Baekhyun laugh. It all seems like just an innocent crush at this point in time, all good feelings.

Lu Han’s phone suddenly rings and he flings Baekhyun’s foot away, jumping up from the sofa to run into his room to pick it up, because what if it’s Chanyeol? Although at the back of his mind, Lu Han knows at this stage, he probably cares more about Chanyeol than he does about Lu Han and it’s too early to call; they only just exchanged numbers in the day.

But it doesn’t say 2chanyeol when he picks his phone up, it’s an unknown number. “Hello?” Lu Han says uncertainly.

“Hello, this is CCTV’s Sing, Superstar! Congratulations for advancing to the second round, you are scheduled to come down for filming. Please make yourself available three days later at 2pm in the afternoon.”

“Oh,” Lu Han says stupidly. He has almost forgotten about his unfinished nightmare.

♫♫♫

Lu Han sits at his office desk and throws his handphone up in the air before catching it in his other hand. It’s already after work and Lu Han is free to go for today, but he stays behind as there are some questions in his mind right now, namely, would he be seen as being too forward if he asks Chanyeol out for dinner just a day after they’ve exchanged numbers and if he called and Chanyeol is busy, would he dislike Lu Han for disturbing his work? But if he messaged, Chanyeol might miss it because he’s working, right? But even if he’s working, he’d still need to eat, doesn’t he? What if he’s so busy he doesn’t want to eat though? Then again, surely, his mother would want him to eat properly? Does Chanyeol still live with his mom? Or does he live with his boyfrie- oh my god, does he have a boyfriend?

Lu Han’s horrifying wayward train of thought gets disrupted when his phone vibrates in his hand.

hey this is kind of abrupt but do u want to get dinner if so come up to the studio

His heart starts slamming against his ribs at an erratic rate as Lu Han stares at the message.

this is park chanyeol btw in case u havent saved my number ^^

Lu Han jumps up, barely suppressing a whoop as he sprints past Jiayan’s desk on his way up the stairs.

Shocked by Lu Han, Jiayan shouts after him. “Are you crazy!”

Unexpectedly, Lu Han bounces down the stairs to stick his lower lip at her. “Maybe,” he admits pitifully, wobbling his lips adorably before bounding up the stairs again.

♫♫♫

Before Lu Han opens the door to Chanyeol’s office, he tidies up his hair but forgoes counting to three before he twists the doorknob because he’s not a lead in some cheesy romantic comedy.

Then he opens the door and Chanyeol’s wide grin makes him feel lowers his head and smile like- fuck, like he’s a lead in some cheesy romantic comedy.

“Hi,” Lu Han says, eyes downcast and hears someone utters a sharp, “Oh!” in reply. Lifting his head up, he sees that Chanyeol is actually not alone. It seems like he has interrupted a recording session like he feared. Soultrapped are in the vocal booth and the stunned expression on Zitao’s face suggests that he’s the one who has let out the exclamation. Sehun merely nods politely at Lu Han, who quickly returns him a bow. He has never talked to Sehun before, Zitao though...

“You asked him here!?” Zitao shouts into the microphone; he’s surprised because Chanyeol never allows people to enter the recording studio when they’re working unless it’s Yixing, of course.

Also he’s surprised because, Lu Han.

Stabbing a button, Chanyeol barks, “Who said you could stop!” Without looking at Lu Han, he gestures to the chair beside him, presses a couple of buttons and waves his hand to cue for them to begin recording again when music resumes in the studio.

Zitao scowls and cups his neck with a hand, looking very conscious now, as if afraid to sing.

“Why?” Sehun mouths his question to Zitao and pokes him in the ribs with an elbow, only to get a shove and glare in return. Curious at Zitao’s reaction, Sehun looks to the window of the booth at the beautiful stranger.

A little taken aback by Chanyeol’s shout, Lu Han nervously tiptoes with bated breath to the chair he has been told to sit in. The tension in the studio is impermeable. Lu Han doesn’t know why he’s called up here, no one seems ready for dinner.

When Chanyeol sees him tiptoeing, he tips his head back and laughs so loudly Lu Han jumps. Clapping his hands, Chanyeol is still chuckling as he says, “It’s all right, they can’t hear us and whatever sounds we make here won’t get recorded.”

Chanyeol is still expecting Lu Han to be shy and awkward like he was yesterday and even just now, instead, Lu Han defies his expectations and doubles over, clapping and laughing at his own folly, too. It’s Chanyeol turn to focus his gaze on Lu Han now; he really is very adorable like what Yixing and Zitao said.

“Ok, I’m embarrassed,” Lu Han says, face flushed as he drops into the chair, “You’re fierce.” Lu Han makes a scared face at Chanyeol.

“You say this only because you haven’t dealt with little rascals like these,” Chanyeol points rudely to Zitao and Sehun.

He can’t hear a thing but Sehun is sure he’s getting bad mouthed so he rolls his eyes and screws his nose up to makes an unimpressed face at Chanyeol.

“Can you believe this is the face teenage girls choose to obsess over?” Chanyeol asks Lu Han incredulously. “What have I done? I’ve been ruining lives all over the world.”

Lu Han laughs again. The pink blush on his cheeks makes him look particularly fetching and causes Zitao to miss his line, because he’s staring too much at the interactions between Chanyeol and Lu Han.

Chanyeol catches that, he presses a button and speaks into the mic that would carry his voice to the vocal booth, “Repeat,” he says with a blank face.

“He’s distracted,” Sehun complains, then he gives Lu Han a look that’s not actually accusing but also couldn’t be anything else beside that.

“Then focus!” Chanyeol scolds harshly, not bothering to give Zitao face. “What kind of singer are you if you can’t even pay attention to singing?” He releases the button to the mic, which is his way of saying he’s had it and all communication is to cease.

Zitao scowls darkly at the microphone in front of him, his face a dark shade of red. He refuses to turn his head towards the control room again, begrudging Chanyeol for putting him down in front of Lu Han. When the music begins though, he starts singing and even does better than how he had been performing before Lu Han’s appearance in the studio. Damn if he’s going to make himself a fool again.

Chanyeol smiles to himself. He’s right, Lu Han is a catalyst for Zitao’s performance. They are going to meet the deadline if he keeps it up.

“Are you a producer?” Lu Han’s voice breaks into Chanyeol’s thoughts.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, pushing slider 14 all the way down, cutting the bass, “I thought I told you that yesterday,” he mutters, eyes still on Zitao and Sehun.

He didn’t, but Lu Han doesn’t mind, at least he knows that now, one more thing to add to his shallow knowledge of Chanyeol. “That’s amazing! I thought you were around my age,” Lu Han says, wholly amazed, Chanyeol keeps impressing him. “Aren’t producers all old and extremely experienced people?”

That gets Chanyeol’s attention. “What makes you think that?” he swivels in his chair to face Lu Han, amusement causing his eyes to crinkle. He’s also right about needing Lu Han for himself in the studio when Zitao was at a bottleneck just now. The pressure is backbreaking and Chanyeol doesn’t want his artistes to breakdown in the studio when the unrelenting deadline is so near but neither is he willing to compromise on quality. He needs someone to diffuse the suffocating pressure and Lu Han had done exactly that yesterday. At this juncture, Lu Han isn’t a distraction to his work; on the contrary, Chanyeol needs someone like him to soften the atmosphere so they can focus better on the album instead of the tension.

“Uh, Jonathan Lee is old,” Lu Han points out. But Jonathan Lee is the only producer Lu Han can list, probably because he’s also a singer and one whose producer reputation outshines that of his singer’s one. Lu Han only pays attention to entertainers, not people behind the scenes. Hence, that’s the impression he has of producers.

“Kahlil Fong and JJ Lin are young but they also produce their own albums,” Chanyeol grins at Lu Han, resting his fist on his chin, giving Lu Han his undivided attention. His eyelashes flicker down, catching the sole light in the dim room for a moment, before they flit up to reveal Chanyeol’s bright wide eyes. His bangs sweep across his forehead, almost into his eyes, making him seem young and boyish, charming Lu Han even more. The low drawl of his voice and the lazy curl of his smile play with Lu Han’s heartstrings and suddenly make him very self-conscious.

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Lu Han says, scratching his nose and looking away from Chanyeol’s eyes. It’s true, he’s a good for nothing, he doesn’t even dare look Chanyeol in the eyes, how the hell is he going to court him. Baekhyun is right, what kind of sang namja is he? He also feels embarrassed for knowing nothing about music even though he’s in the industry. Compared to him, Chanyeol is a producer.

“But you want to be a singer?” Chanyeol asks. His voice is so deep, Lu Han wants to fall into its abyss.

“Oh, not really,” Lu Han says weakly without thinking; he’s too busy pulling himself out of Chanyeol’s voice-abyss.

“You don’t want to be a singer?” Chanyeol sits up straight from his slumped position and widens his eyes at Lu Han. “Then why did you join the audition?”

The unexpected sharpness in Chanyeol’s face causes Lu Han’s head to dart up. What did he say to make Chanyeol mad? “Um, well,” Lu Han begins uneasily, the abrupt change in Chanyeol’s mood is unsettlingly; a brusque reminder that he doesn’t know Park Chanyeol well at all.

Chanyeol exhales, trying to collect himself, he knows he’s being brusque but he just can’t help it. Yixing has been exerting himself for both the album and the contest, but he still has that bright spark in his eyes when he mentions Lu Han. Chanyeol knows what Yixing is thinking, he thinks Lu Han is like himself when he first started out, the unassuming idol singer no one expects to make it big. People think Yixing is lucky with the opportunities he get, and undeniably, he is, but he also works twice, thrice, many many times harder than other artistes. Chanyeol frequently sees him trapped in the dance studio, sweat rolling off him as if he were bleeding profusely. He had crawled all the way to the peak to show everyone they were wrong about him. But Yixing didn’t know how hard the wind blows at the top until he’s standing above the clouds. It is harsh when dreams become reality. This is the real reason why his album is taking far too long, the immense pressure to perform and produce another multi-platinum album is taking its toll, and the accumulated anticipation in turn rolls into even greater expectations, which is why Yixing signed up for the role of a judge for Sing, Superstar!. It’s not a job, it’s more like a refresher course for him. A reminder to Yixing why he became a singer, not for the fame and money, but for the pure love of singing. And it is all right to fail, as long as he can continue to stand on the stage and hold the mic. So many people crave to do the same and Yixing wants to give them that chance, too.

A chance that shouldn’t be wasted on someone like Lu Han.

Lu Han chances a glance at Chanyeol, only to see his brows pinched severely together, eyes piercing as he stares right into Lu Han’s eyes. Sighing, Lu Han lets his shoulders slump. He’s not afraid of Chanyeol’s glare, he’s just wondering how much of the truth he should tell Chanyeol, since this is not his story to share. It seems too much to tell a stranger. Then again, Lu Han doesn’t want Chanyeol to stay a stranger, not a friend too, someone even more than that. So he pulls his chair closer to Chanyeol’s and says, eyes meeting Chanyeol’s stare head on, “I did it for my friend. He’s the one who dreams of becoming a singer.”

Chanyeol expects Lu Han to falter under his glare, instead, he merely squares his slumped shoulders and begins a story. Lu Han always surprises him, first with his abruptness, then with his loud laughter and when he expects him to back down, Lu Han betrays the gentle demeanor he portrays and exhibits the steely nature in him.

“My friend met a person who told him-,” Lu Han heaves a sigh and cuts himself off, this is too unpleasant to recall, “in short, he was told he needed to pay for his own album because he isn’t good enough for any record company and that man cheated him of our entire savings. He blamed himself for getting me into trouble as well, he said it was a wakeup call to stop dreaming and be realistic. I,” Lu Han clenches his jaw tight but Chanyeol sees his entire face transforms back into the Lu Han he knows, the gentleness seeping back into his eyes as he speaks of his friend, “I just want to give his dream back to him.”

Chanyeol is moved by the genuineness in Lu Han’s voice when he tells the story, and his anger quickly dissipates but he couldn’t help himself from blurting out in disbelief, “And you think joining the contest would change his mind?”

Lu Han smiles but he understands, most people wouldn’t get it. “He feels that he owes me, he feels guilt towards me. But he doesn’t understand that I feel guilty, too. The man only took my money, but I took Baekhyun’s dream. I didn’t join the competition to show him that if I could pass auditions, then so could he, because it never even crossed my mind that he wouldn’t.”

When Lu Han says this, his face shifts again and a look of fierce determination takes over. He really does make a lot of facial expressions, Chanyeol thinks, and all of them are so speaking of his emotions.

“I had wanted him to come with me but even if he refused to go, I would still go. I won’t back down.” Lu Han scowls at Chanyeol, as if he’s frowning at Baekhyun, “Because I want to show him, this is how much I want him to sing again. It means the forgiveness we both want.”

Chanyeol looks stunned and Lu Han thinks he has successfully conveyed his conviction to him and amazed him with his determination.

“That’s stupid,” Chanyeol finally declares.

“Yes, isn’t he?” Lu Han sighs.

“No, not your friend, you,” Chanyeol corrects Lu Han, and watches indignation floods his face red.

“It might be stupid, but it is also the right thing for me to do. I don’t care what people say.”

Chanyeol is brash as usual, he wants to point out to Lu Han that stupid things and right things are two very different things but he can’t say it to Lu Han, not when the look on his face is telling him that he’s not going to listen. Another side of Lu Han’s, he’s quite the stubborn bull. Giving up, Chanyeol asks, “So, your friend sings well?”

Lu Han suddenly tastes sourness on the tip of his tongue upon hearing Chanyeol’s question. Baekhyun sings better than just ‘well’, he should never ever stop singing. A quiet reverence slips into his voice and tinges it with awe, “Beautifully,” Lu Han whispers, “he sings beautifully.”

When Lu Han says that, he has a most beautiful look on his face, too. It renders Chanyeol speechless. Lu Han looks strong and fragile, whole and broken, beautiful and blazing; all at the same time.

This is the second time in his life that Chanyeol wants to write a person into a song.

The door to the vocal booth suddenly slams open, ruining the moment. Mortified, Lu Han jerks back when he realizes he has gotten so close to Chanyeol, and all his shyness comes streaming back, he ducks his head, rubbing his neck and nursing a shy smile on his face.

Chanyeol is taken aback when he realizes the music has long ended. Lu Han has managed to divert his attention totally from recording after all. He blinks and shakes himself from his reverie, swiveling around in his chair and threatening his ducklings with a raised first. “You pay for anything that you damage in my studio!”

“Terrifying,” yawns Sehun.

“Dinner,” Zitao growls at all of them.

♫♫♫

Lu Han discovers a totally different side of Chanyeol outside the studio. Or rather, just a side of him that gets enlarged until it’s life sized. He doesn’t scold Zitao or Sehun even once when it comes to matters outside of work. Instead, Chanyeol slings a heavy arm around Sehun and pulls him against his side as he obnoxiously tells the table how Sehun had cried after his debut stage because he has forgotten his dance steps. Surprisingly, Sehun doesn’t protest at Chanyeol’s proximity, and Lu Han realizes that for all of Sehun’s haughtiness, he’s actually very close to Chanyeol. Maybe he has gotten the impression of Sehun wrong. Sehun does that eye-smile thing he does so well whenever he finds Chanyeol’s story funny and he interrupts Chanyeol at the important parts he remembers wrong (“My briefs were red that time Zitao pulled down my pants onstage, not black.”), all the time still feeding himself fried liver using chopsticks, even when his head’s tucked under Chanyeo’s armpit like they’re in the middle of a wrestling match or something.

Initially, Zitao had wanted to go to Lazhu Hutong for grilled lamb leg and all of them stared wordlessly at him, because no one had planned for this to be a night out. “Do you think you’re an emperor or a fucking tourist? We still have recording tomorrow!” Chanyeol berates him and Zitao sneaks a furtive glance at Lu Han before he turns away, prolonging his sulking. In the end, Chanyeol makes the decision and takes them to Xiaowang’s Home, a small family restaurant located in one of the twisty alleys of Guanghua Road. It operates well into early morning which suits their morbid working hours just fine, and they frequent it, dining in the sole private room it provides, like they would tonight.

“It’s ok, I don’t like lamb,” Lu Han leaned over and tiptoed to whisper into Zitao’s ear during the walk there and Zitao finally cracked a pleased smile like a child who has gotten a toy he has been denied.

The restaurant is sparsely occupied as it rightfully should at past 10pm on a Tuesday night. Lu Han fails in his maneuver to sit beside Chanyeol and somehow ends up between Soultrapped at the round table instead (it’s because Zitao has been trying very hard to maneuver himself beside Lu Han), feeling very much like a trapped soul indeed. That doesn’t stop him from getting absorbed by Chanyeol’s storytelling at dinner, laughing at the appropriate moments to show Chanyeol that he has an audience. In reciprocation, Chanyeol always turns to Lu Han during the climaxes of his tales, unwittingly pleasing Lu Han with his attention.

He learns that Chanyeol is loud, and there’s not a moment when he’s still, either poking fun of Zitao or squabbling with Sehun. When he laughs, the sound is rowdy and the skin at the edge of his eyes gathers into soft folds. Lu Han smiles at Chanyeol’s smile, and he lifts a hand to his own eyes, feeling the crinkles there. Just like me, he thinks, smiling to himself. When he manages to avert his gaze from Chanyeol, he looks down and sees his bowl full of food, one prawn still trying to make its way in. Lu Han’s eyes flicker questioningly to the owner of the pair of chopsticks that hold the prawn.

Zitao freezes, his prawn still perched on the side of Lu Han’s bowl. Then he feigns nonchalance, placing the prawn on top of the pile of food he has accumulated in Lu Han’s bowl. After a while, he concedes quietly, “I don’t know what you like.”

Tiny child who doesn’t even know what love is, Lu Han sighs, but when he starts eating, he realizes the only dish Zitao didn’t pick for him is the stewed mutton. Zitao might not know what Lu Han likes, but he cares enough to now know what he doesn’t like. He looks up at Zitao and when their eyes meet, Lu Han gives him a thankful smile. He appreciates being cared for.

At Lu Han’s smile, Zitao bends his head hastily and starts stuffing everything into his mouth, choking when Sehun elbows him and tells him to slow down.

Lu Han turns to Chanyeol who has begun to chortle at Zitao’s predicament. If only Chanyeol also cares about what he likes, too. But nevermind, he would, eventually, Lu Han thinks slyly.

“What are you smiling at?” Sehun scowls at Lu Han, “You look so creepy,” he says with a cringe.

“Eat your food,” Lu Han snips at Sehun who cowers a little. He had thought Xiaolu would be good to bully. But Sehun doesn’t know he himself is the one who’s good to bully.

From the peripheral of his vision, Lu Han sees a movement and when he gazes over, he sees Chanyeol standing up from where he sits opposite Lu Han and placing something in his bowl. Delighted, Lu Han looks down but it’s a piece of stewed mutton. Chanyeol hasn’t been paying as much attention to him as Zitao had.

“Try it, it’s their best dish!” Chanyeol says exuberantly but Zitao mutters under his breath, “Xiaolu doesn’t like mutton.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol utters before giving a half hearted laugh.

“Call me Lu-ge,” Lu Han chastises Zitao before picking up the piece of mutton, “I might like this,” he assures Chanyeol before eating it. It really, really stinks, but for once, Lu Han gains great control of his facial expression as he chews the foul meat. The grin on Chanyeol’s face is well worth it. Ah, when you like someone, even mutton would become edible, Lu Han realizes.

Zitao sulks until the end of the meal.

Chanyeol pays for dinner and Lu Han thanks him profusely at the door of Xiaowang’s Home. “Save your thanks, he has too much money, anyway,” Sehun says dryly. That got Lu Han thinking, Chanyeol is a producer, do producers earn a lot? Lu Han isn’t rich, he lives in a rented apartment that’s actually smaller than a shoebox apartment and earns just enough to sustain himself. He surveys Chanyeol who shoves Sehun for his jab. Sehun wiggles like a jellyfish to show that it doesn’t hurt. He looks so bratty that Lu Han had it, he kicks Sehun’s shin hard; it didn’t even occur to him that he probably shouldn’t treat the artiste of his company like this.

Yapping and grabbing his calf, Sehun yells. “Xiaolu!”

“Who are you to call me Xiaolu?” Lu Han delivers another kick. “It’s *Lu-ye to you,” he says viciously.

“You just upgraded your title from Lu-ge!” Zitao commends Lu Han cheerfully, looking the happiest he had all night.

“That’s right! That’s the way to treat the little rascal!” Chanyeol approves and claps boisterously, and Lu Han is horrified that he has exhibited his violent nature in front of Chanyeol.

Zitao is really a tiny child and he proves it even further by saying with a seemingly indifferent look on his face, “All right, I’ll send Lu Han home now.” As if he couldn’t even care less and Lu Han is such a bother.

Lu Han is about to refuse him but Sehun is faster. He sighs heavily, “Casanova, please, I’ll send you back, ok.”

“I’m not, I’m not a Casanova!” Zitao counters Sehun fiercely, then he draws his brows together, “We live together in the dorm.”

“Why yes, you’re a matter of convenience,” Sehun pats his head patronizingly and Zitao jumps a step back, raising his hand in retaliation and Sehun yelps to hide behind Chanyeol, so Lu Han knows this isn’t an empty threat.

“I will send Lu Han home,” Chanyeol pushes Sehun over to Zitao who rains karate chops on his back, “the two of you better get back home. The two of you have three hours of sleep before you go for a tv recording, then it’s back to the studio again, I’d see you there.”

Lu Han’s default response is to stick his tongue out. Artistes have a really tough life. But he quickly puts on a straight face and says to Chanyeol after he has pushed his two babies into a cab and they in turn bade them farewell by pressing their noses to the car window, “It’s ok, I live very far, I don’t want to bother you.” He pushes a lock of hair behind his ear before he realizes just how flirtatious that looks and he quickly moves his hand down only to clutch at hem of his shirt because he doesn’t even know where to put it. ‘Oh my god’, Lu Han panics, unconsciously lifting his hands up to push his hair behind both ears now, ‘I don’t know what to say! I don’t know what to do!’. Wooing people is so hard.

Chanyeol dangles his car keys before Lu Han. “No problem, I drive,” he tugs the corners of his lips up into a broad grin, revealing two rows of teeth, and of course, Lu Han couldn’t find it in himself to refuse Chanyeol’s smile.

He only quietly notes down the fact that Chanyeol owes a car, wishing he could send Chanyeol back instead, so he could find out what kind of house he stays in.

♫♫♫

“…you live really far,” Chanyeol mutters as he pulls into the parking lot.

Embarrassed, Lu Han rubs his arm and smiles awkwardly. “Thank you, I’d just get down here.”

“You mean this isn’t your apartment?!” Chanyeol leans over to peer up at the block of apartment he’s parked beneath.

“It’s still a five minute walk away,” Lu Han scratches his the back of his neck and admits, “there’s nowhere to park there.”

“I’d walk you back,” Chanyeol says and gets out from the car.

Lu Han quickly moves to open the car door and let himself out. “I don’t want to bother you anymore,” he says to Chanyeol over the hood of the car, “it’s really fine.”

But when Chanyeol turns to face Lu Han, even in the dark, he could make out the faint pink scattered across Lu Han’s cheeks and the lovely shiny tinge on his lips. Coughing, Chanyeol lowers his voice and murmurs, “No, no, I better send you back. With your face like this, who knows what kind of villains you’d lure out in the dark…”

“What?” Lu Han asks but Chanyeol is too embarrassed to repeat himself and instead of being his usual loud self, he sniffs and says, “Lead the way.”

His sudden shyness makes Lu Han laugh. The coolness of the night is welcoming after the heat of the day and Lu Han takes a deep breath, feeling his nerves settling. “I didn’t know you could be shy.” Lu Han jogs to catch up with Chanyeol, grabbing his arm. “Not here,” he steers him in the right direction, “here. You don’t even know where you are, stop trying to lead,” Lu Han mockingly scolds. Chuckling, Chanyeol admits it’s his bad habit but Lu Han thinks he wouldn’t mind following Chanyeol’s lead.

“I’m usually pretty quiet, you know,” Chanyeol flicks Lu Han a sideway glance, “I can be shy, too,” he protests. But he adds a wink at the end of his sentence, and distracts Lu Han wholly with the playful tone in his voice and how boyish his face becomes when he smiles close-lipped like what he’s doing now. The end of his eye thins into a line and the unintentional flirtatious quality of it makes Lu Han’s start drumming a ferocious beat in his chest. Chanyeol is loud and brash at times, but when he smiles and stays quiet like this, the softness on his face tells of an almost delicate nature. His eyes are so beautiful, Lu Han thinks again, then he pauses. Was he so superficial before he met Chanyeol? Lu Han had always thought he was about inner beauty and all that bullshit. Maybe it’s because beautiful people like to think they’re beautiful on the inside too; only inner beauty matters, because they have all that outer beauty anyway. Whatever. Not jealous.

They walk a long winding dark path beneath numerous blocks of flats, cutting through lanes and narrow alleys. Lu Han is not lying when he says there’s nowhere Chanyeol could park his car near his apartment. “Is your work as a producer hectic?” Lu Han asks innocently, feeling a little like Tiny Child, too; concealing questions that mean a lot with huge doses of nonchalance.

Chanyeol frowns as he ponders the question. “If the deadlines are near, yeah. Otherwise, it’s just irregular hours.” He jumps over a rock in his path instead of walking around it.

Even this aspect of Chanyeol makes Lu Han smile. Everything about Chanyeol pleases Lu Han. He navigates his way through the small pathway they’re now at, seemingly distracted as he asks, “Wouldn’t your boyfriend mind your irregular hours?” ‘Say you don’t have a boyfriend! You don’t have one!’ Lu Han screams in his own head.

When Chanyeol whips his head around to stare at his profile, however, Lu Han abandons his pretense at ignorance and has to avoid his stare by looking to the side. Someone has abandoned a large ceramic pot at the side of the road. It seems like a really good place to crawl into and die undiscovered, Lu Han is very tempted. Still, maybe he’s just sensitive because he knows he has an ulterior motive, surely Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to detect the hidden question in Lu Han’s question, right?

Uh, no.

‘Wow, Lu Han is really bad at this’, marvels Chanyeol. Lu Han is being so obvious that Chanyeol is having difficulty answering what would normally be an easy question. If he said no, he doesn’t have a boyfriend’, it’s as if he’s telling Lu Han to come and get some. What? It’s the truth.

If he said ‘yes’ though… does he want to say ‘yes’? Chanyeol slides his gaze over to Lu Han who is now eyeing the large ceramic pot by the roadside with intense interest. Lu Han is very adorable, not only his looks, but also his character. In contrast to his looks, Lu Han isn’t soft and meek, he’s straight forward and so real with his emotions, Chanyeol feels very comfortable in his companionship. But he knows all these don’t add up to even an ounce of what he feels for Yixing.

Then again, that’s why he’s here with Lu Han, isn’t it? He doesn’t want to continue anymore. He has carried the torch for far too long, his hands are about to get burned.

“No,” Chanyeol says slowly, “I don’t have a partner.”

Lu Han continues to stare at the pot, hiding his face in the dark, but Chanyeol knows he heard him. “I can see your smile, you know,” he teases. And Lu Han still has his face turned away from Chanyeol but he laughs out loud at Chanyeol’s words. There’s no point hiding anyway, Lu Han has long given himself away. With his intent out in the open, Lu Han suddenly feels relieved, his nerves finally taking a backseat.

Chanyeol laughs along, too, not knowing he just penned the beginning of a love song. “Can I take that you’re courting me?” he chuckles, expecting Lu Han to appear flustered like he usually does around Chanyeol.

Instead, Lu Han just calmly swats Chanyeol’s bait away. “I haven’t decided,” he tosses his hair suavely, before breaking out into a mischievous smile.

Chanyeol immediately reciprocates with his signature Cherire grin when he realized Lu Han is just teasing him. He should be surprised at Lu Han’s sudden display of playfulness but Chanyeol thinks he’s already gotten over it. Through actions, again and again, Lu Han shows Chanyeol that there’s more than one side to him, two sides, three, as many as a diamond and Chanyeol feels like a ray of light bouncing off all of Lu Han’s planes. Lu Han is intriguing, more than what he lets on at first sight and Chanyeol is enjoying every second of getting to know Lu Han. More than how he thinks he would at first sight.

Chanyeol clears his throat to show his seriousness as well. Out of politeness, he allows Lu Han a second to consider. “Have you decided already?”

“Yes!” Lu Han smiles wickedly at Chanyeol who just gives him an indecipherable grin and a lift of the brow. Whatever. Who cares about the feelings of a prey? Sooner or later, Chanyeol is his. Ha! Hahaha!

As if he could read Lu Han’s mind, Chanyeol continues grinning at him, “Oh? Let’s see how capable you are then?” he quirks his brow again, an unspoken challenge in his eyes.

It’s irritating, but also endearing in a ‘Lu Han, you’re really whipped’ kind of way. This irks Lu Han. They haven’t even got together and he’s already losing the fight.

*“Not that capable, but it’s not like I’d need much to handle you!” Lu Han mock-snarls.

*“Aw, a little munchkin like you? Just where the hell did you get your confidence from?” The little fawn wants to be a tiger, Chanyeol marvels, just look at this formidable aura.

*“From you, of course,” Lu Han simpers the veiled insult, continuing to trade blows with Chanyeol. He’s too used to squabbling with Baekhyun, so much that he’s forgotten he’s supposed to be shy now.

*Chanyeol pulls his brows up again, his lips curl with amusement. Here’s yet another side of Lu Han; cute little munchkin who pretends to be fierce, so cute. “You’re so… interesting,” Chanyeol forcefully swallows the ‘cute’ that’s already parked at his lips. He doesn’t think a tiger-wannabe like Lu Han would appreciate being called cute, although from his current display of irritation, he doesn’t seem to think much of being called interesting, too. “Second round of audition is a day away, right?” Chanyeol asks as a means of conversation, or diversion, but Lu Han doesn’t notice and turn to him with drooping sad eyebrows.

“What?” Chanyeol grins. Lu Han’s face is like a television, Chanyeol has the feeling he’s channel surfing every time Lu Han changes his facial expression.

Scratching his neck, Lu Han admits, “I still don’t know what song to sing.”

“Can you take this competition seriously?” Pausing in his tracks, Chanyeol cocks his head to the side and regards Lu Han with a blank face. Personal feelings aside, Yixing has put in a lot of effort in judging and Chanyeol doesn’t want him to be disappointed, especially since he seems to be taken by Lu Han.

He isn’t getting a scolding like how Zitao often gets from Chanyeol but this is probably worse than that. Lu Han stops and nods his head, big contrite eyes dropping to the ground and Chanyeol’s heart softens. Urgh, stupid Bambi. He angrily kicks at a rock in his path. Why is he always surrounded by people who constantly frustrate him but he can’t do anything to them? Yixing, Zitao, Sehun and now, Lu Han. He can’t even stay mad at these idiots.

Chanyeol hums to himself for a while. “I’m not a vocal coach, so I can’t teach you how to sing. But a lot of singers experience difficulty during recording because they are unable to relate to the lyrics. Remember what *Fang laoshi said about your choice of song? You don’t actually sing too bad, not that you have much time to do anything about voice technique now anyway, so just pick the right song? Weizhong-ge is right, technique can always be taught, but you are born with the voice and emotions can only come with experiences.”

Lu Han scrunches up his brows. “What’s the right song?”

“A song you can relate to, for one,” Chanyeol replies, “Tell me something about your life - your love life, maybe, that’s the easiest - and I can help you pick a song.”

The scowling on Lu Han’s face becomes horror because Chanyeol is his entire love life to date. “Um, well, I met this guy recently,” he attempts, concealing names, but Chanyeol mirrors his terror when he realizes what Lu Han is about to say and interrupts before Lu Han can continue. “Or! You know what, not just love but your own experiences in general, oh,” Chanyeol suddenly cuts himself off with a small sound of exclamation.

He pulls out his handphone from the back pocket of his pants and flicks through the list of songs he stores in it. “I know just the song.” The memory of the fierce determination on Lu Han’s face burns in his memory as he scrambles to find the song that would match it. Finally, he hits play and puts the song on loudspeaker. “This,” he grins, somehow sounding breathless and places his phone near Lu Han’s ear.

The sounds of a violin drifts into Lu Han’s ear, followed by Qingfeng’s voice but all Lu Han can hear is Chanyeol, all he can see is Chanyeol. He feels bewitched, under the moonlight, in this dark and lonely alley, it’s Chanyeol who stands beside him and-

“Do you like it?” Chanyeol asks, his feelings causing his eyes to brighten with life.

“I like it,” Lu Han answers quietly, wondering if his eyes are just as bright.

“I like it so much.”

♫♫♫

When Lu Han reaches home, it’s already close to 3am but he doesn’t sleep. He’s too excited. He downloads a MP3 from internet, and then feels guilty over it, like he’s single handedly putting Chanyeol out of job; so he deletes the MP3, purchases it from an online music store instead and pores over the song’s lyrics. He has never studied a song’s lyrics, but he wants to understand why Chanyeol says this song suits him.

But this isn’t a love song.

‘Yan Wo’ (燕窩|Bird Nest)

I sing my way into decadence
Like I’ve never once cared about this season
I let my voice boil
Wanting to know whose heart will be broken
I chewed my way into intoxication
Like I can’t tell the difference between luxury and worthless scrap
I flavor it with tears
Stew it with sugar and mask it with sweetness
What you’ll never get served
Is the blood and tears I shed

So I sing and sing, sing out the foolishness in me
And I fly and fly, fly out of the skyline
In return for a bowl of flavors
So I dream and dream, dreamt nobleness into life
And I build and build, build a home for myself
They agree unanimously that I’m a fool
I don’t care

“I don’t care,” Lu Han recites the last line while he lies on his bed; he said the same thing while he was in conversation with Chanyeol today. Is this why Chanyeol thinks this song is suitable for him? Lu Han mulls over the lyrics, he carefully chews and digests the words, trying to decipher what lies between the blanks of those lines; unwritten thoughts that cannot fit into the length of a song (not that he could even correctly guess what the written lines mean). There are some parts that he simply doesn’t comprehend however, no matter how hard he tries, he just doesn’t get what the lyricist was trying to express with ‘I abandon direction / like I don’t care about the wetness upon my brows’. But when the song climbs into its climax and the music peaks, forcefully pulling Lu Han’s emotions along in its surge, at the bridge where the singer sings:

How lingering the pride is
People always labor their love on everything they’ve ever lost
How pure the lack of fear is
Allowing me to chase paths despite known dangers

The wail of the violin, the determined nonchalance of the singer’s voice as he sings ‘I don’t care’ repeatedly, they are powerful enough to fill in the blanks of the lyrics, making Lu Han understand the true message of the song.

And then, he finally gets why Chanyeol picked this song for him.

It’s the first time he ever feels like his feelings align with that of a song’s words. He thinks about Baekhyun, Chanyeol and everyone who ever said he’s stupid for doing this, he thinks about his own conviction that he is right nevertheless, braving ahead despite everything. Lu Han thinks about Baekhyun and the dream he gave up, the dream that didn’t manage to hold such significance when it was still just part of Baekhyun’s imagination, but incited so much of their tears when it was gone. Lu Han has always just paid attention to the melody of a song, he didn’t know that words would hold such power over him, even though it’s one third of the song, he didn’t know this kind of song exists beside love ballads.

The music elicits the ear, the body, the heart; words build up meaning and move the mind; the singer’s voice becomes yours. This is why songs are both music and words, this is why some musicians believe they can change the world. When their voices become yours, when one’s belief transforms into another’s inspiration, imagination becomes infinite.

Lu Han thought Chanyeol is the one who would map out a whole new world for him, instead he teaches Lu Han how to appreciate a song.

♫♫♫

“Xiaolu Bambi!”

Lu Han reluctantly turns towards Yixing when he steps onto the stage. Along with a proper stage, there’s even an audience and an host this time, but Yixing’s presence really helps to diffuse Lu Han’s anxiety. There are few emotions more intense than dislike. He’s dressed stylishly today, in skinny jeans and a tee shirt with faux leather short sleeves. His hair is up and combed to the side, a far cry from the first audition.

Yixing waves cheerfully at Lu Han because he has no idea he has just gained ten new negative comments from his anti, aliendogzyx. “Did you apply leave for this audition?” Yixing asks like the concerned boss he is.

Lu Han lifts the microphone he was given to his mouth. “I’m sure,” his voice booms in the large studio, stunning himself, “um, mic test, one two three,” Lu Han says, even tapping the mic with a finger after his words, the default response anyone would have when handed a mic.

A-Mei roars with laughter, her long hair swishing as she headdesks herself on the panel table. The audience follows her cue and laughs as well. Someone hollers ‘Xiaolu Bambi!’, but Lu Han resolutely refuses to acknowledge that call. Sing, Superstar! hasn’t begun broadcast yet, and if Lu Han gets eliminated this round, he might not even end up on television at all. Good, as long as he doesn’t embarrass himself again, he doesn’t mind not advancing at all.

Blushing furiously, he speaks into the mic again, “I’m sure the company won’t collapse in my absence under your formidable leadership,” he cannot help but retort. It’s a flattering comment, if Yixing doesn’t catch the sarcasm. Lu Han hopes Yixing is dense, because really, he doesn’t look smart, does he? Is this an objective comment, Lu Han can no longer tell. He’s new at this anti thing.

It’s Weizhong-ge who laughs, however. He has always hoped that Lu Han would have more personality than what he let on in the first audition. People in the entertainment industry should have a certain trait, regardless if they’re talented or not, they should at least be outspoken. Lu Han is still reserved when he speaks to the judges but when it comes to Yixing… Weizhong-ge chuckles at the thought.

Mathilda Tao finally finds her way into the conversation. “Lu Han,” she begins and Lu Han immediately sinks into a bow. “Hello, Taozi-jie,” he greets the host from Taiwan, reverting to being polite.

Mathilda retreats a few steps to show that the deep bow is too much for her to take. “Taozi-jie can’t take this bow, just don’t forget me when you become a superstar in future,” she jests.

“Oh, um,” Lu Han stutters, because superstar? Um.

It’s Mathilda’s job to cajole the contestants to talk and reveal more about themselves, even if most of them would get eliminated this round. There’s still a live audience and they must be entertained. Who knows? A superstar might really get born out of this contest. You never know who’s going to be the next big thing in their line. “Lu Han ah, you must have been called Xiaolu Bambi ever since you were a child. What are your thoughts towards this?”

Finally! Lu Han whoops inwardly, a chance to clarify his manliness on national television. “Actually, my friends say I’m quite manly. I’m also very good at sports, especially soccer,” he says sincerely and nods to Mathilda.

“Only men who aren’t manly enough have to constantly state that they are,” Mathilda Tao turns and says very seriously to the camera and the audience takes the cue, roaring boisterously with laughter.

Just you wait, Lu Han thinks sinisterly, aliendogmathildatao, just wait.

“Our last judge finally gets in his seat after his toilet break!” Mathilda shouts, alerting Lu Han to the empty seat between A-Mei and Zhang Yixing. “Did you eat something wrong, Big Star? Producer, please edit this part out, we don’t to embarrass the superstar.” But she says this precisely so it would turn into a highlight and not get edited out.

It’s not Fang Wenshan who strides into the studio and gets into his seat, however. When Lu Han sees the short besuited man sit down beside A-Mei, his jaw loosens with disbelief.

“You can begin,” Do Kyungsoo ignores the host’s jab and says coolly.

And the live band starts playing before Lu Han could holler into his mic and demand an explanation for this plot twist.

♫♫♫

that's all!

Comments

bestanonym

[(Anonymous)]

"... and demand an explanation for this plot twist."

me too manlyLu, me too...
im camping here!

is it anonybest?

[happinessplate]

ty for reading 24k of wip omg
i didn't expect anyone to.. ;A;

Re: is it anonybest?

[(Anonymous)]

oooh shes got me.... :DDDD (im so bad managing my own acc >< )

tbvvvvvvvvvh authorcatnim,
i was going to point that you used this particular word once in GQG and i kinda forgotten

"Exactly what kind of fairydust did they put in Canadian water and how overdosed is Kris? Kyungsoo is allergic to all-loving people like Kris."

until recently i reminded when heard the upcoming comeback song might be along the line

"Kyungso narrows his eyes. “Just call me ‘Daddy’"

arent you awesomely awesome authornim..? *nudges*

[(Anonymous)]

I never leave comments because I don't even read fanfic regularly anymore, but please continue this omg <3 I always laugh when I read your stories, and I've read GQ Gangster probably five times now ^^;

[happinessplate]

thanks for leaving a comment for this then, anon. but it's rly veering to the 'nope' side of the meter as to whether i'd continue this ;~;
still, thanks for reading & commenting!

Pls

[(Anonymous)]

PLEASE OH MY GOD PLEASE CONTINUE PLEASE WHAT IS THIS PLOT TWIST SUCH CRUELTY

You are such an amazing author!!!!! So happy to have stumbled across your fics! I couldn't stop rereading GQ Gangster like wow so good and it hurt so much

And that luhan/sehun fic omg so precious

This comment is so full of squees and fangirling but really really you are SUCH an amazing writer please don't ever ever think otherwise if it ever crosses your mind

xoxo new fan shuukurou

Re: Pls

[happinessplate]

i'm sorry i ended it on a cliffhanger! in hindsight, i probably shouldn't have...
i'm not an amazing writer, anon, but i thank you for thinking so and for commenting to tell me :3 i appreciate it

oh my god

[(Anonymous)]

why
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO STOP HERE
WAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Re: oh my god

[happinessplate]

yeah i'm sorry, i'm repenting ;A;

omg what please continuee

[(Anonymous)]

hello author-nim i have reread all your fics for the 8th time i love this one the most
pls pls pls continue bcos i was really really looking foward to the part where luhan was going to sing the song chanyeol picked out
and i love how you wrote luhan it just really made me squeal all the wayyy
this fic it just idek how to explain it
but i really love your fics and gq gangster was really the definition of krisoo srsly
i hope you can see my love for you and your fics because because
and i really don't understand how this can only have 6 comments like WHAT
ok i will shut up now
♥♥♥♥♥♥ your new fan i hearteuu
ps sorry for my crappy comment

idk if i would continuee (probs not...)

[happinessplate]

hello anon-nim, i'm rly thankful you liked it but tbh, i rly don't know if i would continue this. atm, it seems not :c thank you for reading this gigantic wip and for letting you know you liked it, despite the fact that many, many, things weren't fleshed out yet. here's some hearts for you too ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

wait what

[(Anonymous)]

Cruel, author-sama, just so cruel.

OF ALL THE PLACES TO STOP AT what why please author-sama please continue i will bake you cookies do your laundry cook for you WHATEVER YOU WISH

jUst continue this, please? I would be devastated if you abandoned this baby.

So amazingly written.

And yeah, I can't believe this only had like seven reviews wtf is wrong with people

•••••••
unoh4na

Re: wait what

[happinessplate]

hi unoh4na, i'm afraid i cannot be bribed into writing >:c
but srsly, this wip might not be continued, i'm sorry it left you hanging u_u
ahhh, nothing's wrong, i'm flattered my writing received any reviews at all, tbh. especially those like yours, thanks for reading and commenting!

[(Anonymous)]

So I just stumbled upon this after reading some of your other fics, and AH. I didn't want to read it at first since I knew it was a possibly-dead wip, but I was pulled in once I saw that it was cpop au because I have never seen that before (I LOVE cpop OMG and my family is addicted to any and all singer/idol shows) and after reading it this is so bittersweet because this is just so good but then that cliffhanger (tbh first thought was HOW WILL YIXING AND KYUNGSOO INTERACT) and ohmygoodness why is this not longerrrrr. Anyways, I understand and respect that the decision to not continue is entirely up to you of course - but can I just say I am FASCINATED by what you did with this cpop au. omg. so good. so, so good.I am so curious about Yixing's character and actually LOL'd at Luhan being a petty anti hahahaha, but yeah wow your characterization is so spot-on and you weave in these cpop big names so naturally it all seems so REAL. you are an amazing writer and GAH I would love to read more cpop au and any of your au. you rock my socks, gg.

[happinessplate]

hi!! your comment excites me bc, cpop! :> i had to watch an entire season of zhong guo hao sheng yin to write this, which turned out to be more fun (& dramatic) than i expected. it was also really, really fun to come up with the characterization for the real cpop stars haha.
yixing and kyungsoo's interaction is a bit...

"Hey, Best Male Singer!" Yixing hollers when Kyungsoo emerges from the stage that's hidden away by red velvet curtains, the victorious music that accompanies his exit dims when the heavy cloth drops back down behind. Someone joins in, whooping loudly backstage and Kyungsoo turns a little to his right, just in time to catch the last of Jam Hsiao's whoops before he steps out from the red curtains as the last performer for the Golden Melody Awards.

"I don't know you personally," Kyungsoo says coolly to Yixing, who saunters over and slings an arm over Kyungsoo's shoulders like they know each other on a deep and personal level. The large amber brooch on Yixing's blazer digs into Kyungsoo's bicep. This doesn't affect him, however, Kyungsoo simply continues making his way over to the common area where previous performers and winners have gathered to watch the show backstage.

It's a bit of a struggle to keep his arm on Kyungsoo when he's walking so briskly, but Yixing keeps up.

"But you're still the best singer cpop ever had since Eason Chan," Yixing quotes himself, not missing a beat.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" Kyungsoo stops mid-step, scowling and clutching his new gold trophy a little tighter.

A dimple pops out as Yixing's lips curl into a grin. "Of course not," he says softly, coaxingly, "How could you think that of me?" Then he leans back onto the wall beside them, one hand sliding into the pocket of his tight satin pants, looking as smug as the Cheshire cat. He looks terribly handsome, too. Kyungsoo hates him, but he also can't take his eyes away from Yixing.

As if noticing Kyungsoo's stare, Yixing tilts his head to a side, regarding Kyungsoo, and his smile slides off as he returns a hard gaze that's so much more intense than Kyungsoo's.

Kyungsoo feels Yixing's eyes move slowly over his form as if it's a heated caress. His heart starts drumming up a frantic beat in his ears, his blood gushes to his face, spreading over it like a blush. It's too intimate and too much all at once, Kyungsoo has to drop his eyes to the floor. A second later, he hears Yixing snicker.

He's so doing it on purpose.

CPOP!

[(Anonymous)]

Hehe, I loved that you "praised" JJ Lin here!
And I found the characterisation of Show to be kinda funny... I'm a cute way!
And how you actually so accurately portrayed Taozi-Jie!

But more than not though, I wished there was more to this!
Actually more curious bout chanxing's relationship in this more than anything else, and why zitao likes luhan so much. Hehe

FY CPOP!

[happinessplate]

ok, tbh my opinion of jj lin is very conflicted and veers wildly from one end of the spectrum to the other. i can write essays on jj lin, but yes, praise is definitely part of it!
show luo actually works rly, rly hard. he fell to the bottom of the pit at one time in his career and fought tooth and nail to rise to the top. so i respect him for that :D
haha, taozi is so fun to write! i'm glad you find it accurate. it's pretty surreal to get a nod for cpop characterization XDDD

Re: FY CPOP!

[(Anonymous)]

It's me again! Well, i started out with coop over 10 years back, and JJ was with me from the very beginning! Love him to bits, and even till today is still my absolute favourite!
And, yes, I am quite acquainted with Show since my sister used to like him a lot at one point, and I'm just kinda like a proud momma when I look at how far he has came from where he used to be right now!
And, well, when your into cpop, you definitely can't leave out one million star and the likes, which Taozi hosts, so yea, I loved how you managed it! :)